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Criticism: Fixing a Problem of Apocalyptic Proportion

by Kevin Hogan

Why Argue? You Can't Win Anyway

Was there really a winner?

Exactly.

To most people, being contradicted and told they are wrong in front of other people is a king size problem. For obvious reasons, (remember biology...flight/fight) no one can tolerate being contradicted, especially in front of others. It is an embarrassment.

A person forced to submit against his will stays firm in his belief. So what's the best advice to a situation that seems to lead to an impending argument?

KEYPOINT: Welcome an opinion even though it is the opposite of your own.

When two people go into a partnership, let's say in business, it is normal that disagreements arise. Actually, it is healthy and necessary for business.

Disagreements don't mean that the partnership will go sour. It's the exchange of ideas that gives businesses more competitive edges and improvements. Use disagreements to your advantage.

This is especially true to married couples. Husbands and wives may disagree but they ultimately find a common ground to make their relationship stronger. It's like exploring each other, getting to know your partner better.

Dr. John Gottman shared with me that according to his divorce research, about 70% of all disagreements/arguments that recur are unresolvable. (I think I got that right.)

That's a pretty amazing statistic but it seems about right.

I mean, you argue about the "same thing" over and over too don't you?

Everyone does.

Agree to Disagree

The key of course is EMOTION.

If you are the.... temperamental type, learn to control it.

Make every effort to gradually reduce the intensity until you see substantial improvement.

Temper that is out of control is fueled by anger like a forest fire.

How do you keep your tongue from criticizing and expressing your anger to boot?

Well that's the subject of a book but think about this...

Develop Your Listening Skills

KEY POINT: Give your ear a chance to listen first before you let words come out of your mouth.

My grandfather used to sit and think for a minute before answering some questions that came his way....now I know why!

And when you do have a word or two to say, try your best to align them in a non-argumentative direction. Be tactful. Dwell on areas where you think you and the other party will agree.

Be Sincere

If you make a mistake, acknowledge and apologize accordingly.

Apologizing for mistakes does not make you a lesser person in terms of importance. On the contrary, people feel humbled when apologized to. Apologies bring out the gentle person in you.

Give the other party the benefit of the doubt in his opinion especially when you doubt your own opinion as well. Tell him you will think over his ideas.

This is better than being told later, "I told you so but you wouldn't listen." This will also give the two of you a chance to evaluate the problem or issue.

When someone takes the time and the effort to engage in a debate or argument with you, it only shows that he is also interested in the same things as you do. That alone is sufficient reason for you to thank him.

(REALLY!)

More next time!

Never before in the field of persuasion....not by anyone...anywhere...

The Science of Influence: Vol. 37-48

The Science of Influence in Action!

It took 19 months to put this together because the research was so in-depth and it was crucial to make sure it was right.

• Reciprocity?
• Consistency?
• Contrast?
• Expectancy?

Which of the 10 laws of persuasion is the most effective?

Better...
Which is more effective with women...?

and...
Which is more effective with men?

Then, based on detailed research you'll find out which are the second and third AND fourth most powerful laws for influencing both men and women...in order of effectiveness.

Can I give you more?

The research says there are 8 "personas" of persuasion.

I've never talked about this with you before.
(Of course, I didn't have all of this until early last month...)

Personas are the valences people "use" when influencing. They include characteristics, attitudes and valence of salespeople.

Some salespeople are passive. Others are client-centered. Still others? Solution focused and so on. There are 8 clear cut defined types of salespeople and influence personas.

So what?

Here's what you are going to learn:

1. What are the 8 personas?
2. How to identify them.
3. Which one sells the most, and, which ones sell the LEAST.
4. Which single persona sells 53% more than ANY of the other 7 styles.

Better?

Only 4% of all salespeople have chosen to adopt the characteristics of the winners...and 81% of all salespeople have the characteristics of the two LOWEST producing people.

You'll find out all!

Scientifically proven. No opinions, guesses, theories, or maybes.

This is THE answer.

I'm not going to hype or oversell these 12 volumes in the Science of Influence Library.

The content herein is second to nothing I've ever done before and I have no idea how it can ever be beaten as for the "wow" value factor. I don't want to put a percentage of sales increase out there for you. (Let's just say that I feel REALLY good about it.)

As I listened to this set, I realized that I've sounded more "excited" on other programs. I've been more elegant. I've been funnier. I might quote too much data. I said a few things I wish I wouldn't have.

I've never had as many final solutions as are in SI 37-48. And now they are YOURS.

Here's the rundown of everything that is in this content masterpiece.

• Selling Value with Persuasion
• Intentional Subtle Influence
• The Power of Your Story
• 5 Factors for Attention in a Crowded Marketplace
• Astonishing Perceptions of Morality
• Self-Confidence, Personal Mastery & Persuasion
• Transformational Persuasion Techniques
• 8 Techniques to Build Persuasive Messages
• Advertising That Works
• The Landscape Effect
• Power of Perception
• Hedonic Choice Influence
• Influencing Decisions
• The Three Powerful Emotions in Influence
• 7 Persuasion Strategies That Sell
• Proven Most Effective Techniques in Selling
• 4 Techniques of Influence
• Covert Selling: Jump on the Hottest Trend in Advertising
• The Person of Influence
• They Don't Know What They Know
• Marketing Your Face
• You Can Be the Next I-pod
• Persuasion with False Memory
• 7 Action Points for Sales Success
• 5 Little Known Factors of Influence

More Information or to Order

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Kevin Hogan
Network 3000 Publishing
3432 Denmark #108
Eagan, MN 55123
(612) 616-0732

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