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Kevin Hogan
Network 3000
3432 Denmark #108
Eagan, MN 55123
(612) 616-0732
© 1995 - 2007
Kevin Hogan
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Criticism: Fixing a Problem of Apocalyptic Proportion
by Kevin Hogan
It's a key predictor in knowing who will stay married and who will divorce.
It drags productivity at work and causes virtual hatred between some managers and employees.
....not a great thing.
"The President of the United States has spent the country into a hole so deep it will take a bomb to make it look better..."That's a criticism. It's probably a fair criticism and not something I'm worried about in this article.
"If you have crummy service and get stuck in the hotel at the Best Western in Marlborough, Massachussetts, and management doesn't make things right, then they were idiots."That's a criticism and definitely a fair criticism...and not something I'm concerned with in this article.
"Terrorists are scum buckets."That's a criticism and again, I'm not there...here.
No.
What I'm talking about are things you and I and people we care about say and do every day...to each other....things that we say at work.
A few quick points before we get into this deeply.
"Fair" and "Unfair" Criticism
KEYPOINT: "Fair" criticism means that what is being said is true. Intent is to inform or assist.In other words, "Don't hire Kevin to change your oil in your car, not his area of specialty."
Fair. It smarts a little, but it's fair.
KEYPOINT: "Unfair" criticism is what happens when someone says something about you true or not and it is said with the intent to demean, diminish, or cause pain instead of repair; hurt instead of assistance.
As a mentor and coach, people pay me to "criticize" their work, their business and life strategies" ...but not THEM as people.
"Constructive criticism" is a pretty complex term filled with all kinds of problems but there IS such a thing. Whether there is intention for harm and desired to be heard, is largely whether it is warranted or not.
So, criticism is a pretty complex (and sensitive) area.
Criticism is something like smacking someone in the head, except with words.
And the fact is that just about all criticism hurts.
All Criticism Stings
One of my mentee's in the Platinum Inner Circle offered me some "unsolicited feedback," which is more irritating than a testimonial or endorsement.His comment was totally accurate. 100%. And I knew that there was not one single ounce of malice in his statement.
But it stung.
And he made sure I knew that his purpose was not to sting.
I knew that of course, as sure as I know you are reading this. But it still stung. Not a lot. Just a little.
So let's agree that pretty much all criticism, paid/unpaid, solicited/unsolicited, constructive/unconstructive/malicious....
It all hurts.
And the people around you and me all feel the same inside.
I have no problem catching phrases like:
- "What the hell were you thinking?"
- "That was stupid"
- "Did you think that would help?"
So, over time, I've worked on this lovely trait because if you don't, you pay an enormous price.
Now, I'm not saying you have a challenge with criticism, but let's just imagine that you could be 10% better in this area...
...it would get noticed....
Consider...
Continue: Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 
Kevin Hogan
Network 3000 Publishing
3432 Denmark #108
Eagan, MN 55123
(612) 616-0732
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