Why Can't I Just Change?!

by Kevin Hogan

Have you ever avoided doing something, even though it would make you feel good and help you accomplish a goal?

For example, let's suppose you know you should start eating healthy meals. Indeed, you like the way you feel when you eat healthy foods. So why is it that you eat healthy for a few weeks …but then before you know it you're sitting on the couch with a bowl of greasy chips again?

In other words, why are we so resistant to change? Why is it so easy to slip back into our old habits? There are plenty of reasons -- let's look at some of the most common…

Familiarity is Safe

Let's face it - the unknown is scary. And it causes enough fear at both the conscious and unconscious level to shut down the logic of growing, evolving and change. Instead you are given the instinct/intuition to do nothing which you are not familiar with that may have caused insecurity in the past.

Consider this: you're standing before the closed door of a very large room. Let's suppose that you happen to know there's a cash reward waiting for you if you open this door, walk across the room, and claim your reward. Simple, right? But there's a problem: the room is pitch black, so dark that you can't even see your hand in front of your face. Since you've never been in this room before, you have no idea what the interior of the room looks like.

Maybe it's a completely empty room that you could simply walk across and collect your reward. But on the other hand, your imagination creates other interesting scenarios like….could there could be broken glass on the floor, objects in the way that you'll trip over, and things hanging from the ceiling that you'll bump your head into…or WORSE!

For all you know there could be ANYTHING! You just don't KNOW. It's unfamiliar and uncomfortable and even though there is no reason to believe so, it's scary.

KEYPOINT: Fear is not a conscious decision.

KEYPOINT: Only a conscious decision can cause you to overcome fear.

So you start to think and wonder…

And that's the problem - you simply don't know. You have no idea if navigating the room is a walk in the park and the easiest money you'll ever make …or if it's something that will threaten your life, injure you, or frighten you.

So what happens? You think about the size of the reward, and then you play that against the dangers that possibly await you. Is it a big enough reward for you to take a risk? Or since the unknown is frightening, do you waive your right to the reward by playing it safe?

Sometimes you and I resist change and a possible reward because we don't know what it will take to reach that reward. The familiar (staying in the well-lit room) is safe. We may not get the reward …but neither do we have to take any risks. No risks usually means no disasters based on experience (even though there could be a disaster waiting to enter the well lit room that your mind doesn't consider!!)

And so you get stuck. You want to lose weight, start a business, write a book or do any other number of things. But you become afraid to open that door and walk into the dark and unknown. We may not be happy where we're at, but at least familiarity is seemingly safe. …seemingly…

Turn the page for another common reason it's difficult to change.

Continue: Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

Kevin Hogan
Network 3000 Publishing
3432 Denmark #108
Eagan, MN 55123
(612) 616-0732

Coffee cup photo appears under license with Stockexpert. Article photo appears under license with istockphoto/mandygodbehear.

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