You CAN Change! Learn How...
by Kevin Hogan
There are a bunch of reasons why change is difficult; but today you find out the biggies.
Have you ever avoided doing something, even though it would
make you feel good about yourself and help you accomplish a goal?
First, let me tell you that picture of me from the holidays last year reveals I'm about
32+ pounds lighter than I was when The Psychology of Persuasion was published.
32+ pounds is the same weight as about 4 GALLONS of MILK.
Can you imagine carrying FOUR gallons of milk in your hands?
I was carrying it with my body... and I hated it.
But don't think, "everything is perfect today, that struggle is over."
The struggle is the same today as it was 10 years ago.
I just know what to DO and how to THINK today.
And it's STILL a struggle!
And I STRUGGLE with weight...every day. Maybe you do to. If not then use this first sequence as a metaphor for the behaviors you want to change. If you, like me, struggle with pounds...then this is going to be easy to understand.
Let's suppose you know you should start eating less total food so your waist
shrinks and your lifespan lengthens. Indeed, you like the way you feel when you eat
healthy foods or your body feels lighter. So why is it that you eat more rationally for a few
weeks …but then before you know it you're sitting on the couch
with a bowl of chips again?
In other words, why are you and I so resistant to change? Why is it
so easy to slip back into our old habits?
There are plenty of reasons -- let's look at some of the most
Genes Make Good Friends...and Enemies
I recently had my genome done.
I wanted some ancestral information and I wanted to get some accurate health
I pulled up the most important health reports from the 18,000 bits of information
that I acquired in the megalithic document.
In a nutshell, my body is programmed with predictable and quantifiable health
challenges (and a few perks) that are more or less likely to occur than average humans.
7 times more likely to have hypertension.
7 times more likely to have diabetes.
3 times more likely to be obese.
2 - 7 times more likely to develop various cancers some aggressive.
(Remember there were 18,000 pieces of information in the report. These were 4...)
I know what you're thinking...
a) Why would you want to know all that bad news?
b) You do realize that you aren't GUARANTEED to have hypertension, diabetes, cancer, etc., don't you?
And you would be right. Consider a useful metaphor...
Knowing the bad weather forecast triggers off the need to ward off, head off, or prepare for
And of course people don't take actions because something good might happen in life. They take
actions if something BAD is going to happen NOW.
On average bad news or pain is the only kind of news that really gets attention that is acted upon
for humans...and I am one of those humans.
And hey some of the news was good news. Certain gene clusters work well at having a better
memory, a warrior like mental make up and so on. It wasn't ALL bad.
BUT, importantly it was bad enough to be certain to clean out the arteries, stick less sugar
in the gas tank and stay away from cancer triggers.
The picture of defusing a bomb came to mind...and is still there. Obviously bomb defusion when
it's your body is an everyday gig, not a one stop fix.
This is where we begin...with the cards that are dealt into our hand and how we play them.
Familiarity is Safe
No matter how appealing change sounds - whether it's losing
weight, making more money, or a goal to do the things you've
always wanted to do (like travel the world) - staying in your
rut means you stay safe.
Let's face it - the unknown is scary. And it causes enough fear
at both the conscious and unconscious level to shut down the
logic of growing, evolving and change.
Instead you are given the instinct/intuition to do nothing
which you are not familiar with that may have caused insecurity
in the past.
Consider this: you're standing before the closed door of a very
large room. Let's suppose that you happen to know there's a
cash reward waiting for you if you open this door, walk across
the room, and claim your reward. Simple, right?
But there's a problem: the room is pitch black, so dark that
you can't even see your hand in front of your face. Since
you've never been in this room before, you have no idea what the
interior of the room looks like.
Maybe it's a completely empty room that you could simply walk
across and collect your reward. But on the other hand, your
imagination creates other interesting scenarios like….could
there could be broken glass on the floor, objects in the way
that you'll trip over, and things hanging from the ceiling that
you'll bump your head into…or WORSE!
For all you know there could be ANYTHING! You just don't KNOW.
It's unfamiliar and uncomfortable and even though there is no
reason to believe so, it's scary.
KEY POINT: Fear is not a conscious decision.
KEY POINT: Only a conscious decision can cause you to overcome
So you start to think and wonder…
And that's the problem - you simply don't know. You have no
idea if navigating the room is a walk in the park and the
easiest money you'll ever make …or if it's something that will
threaten your life, injure you, or frighten you.
So what happens? You think about the size of the reward, and
then you play that against the dangers that possibly await you.
Is it a big enough reward for you to take a risk? Or since the
unknown is frightening, do you waive your right to the reward by
playing it safe?
Sometimes you and I resist change and a possible reward because
we don't know what it will take to reach that reward. The
familiar (staying in the well-lit room) is safe. We may not get
the reward …but neither do we have to take any risks.
No risks usually means no disasters based on experience (even
though there could be a disaster waiting to enter the well lit
room that your mind doesn't consider!!)
And so you get stuck. You want to lose weight, start a
business, write a book or do any other number of things. But
you become afraid to open that door and walk into the dark and
unknown. We may not be happy where we're at, but at least
familiarity is seemingly safe.
Turn the page for another common reason it's difficult to change.
Overcoming the MONSTER...: Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
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