Life Mastering Self-Control:
The Key to Getting What You Want in the 168 Hour Week
Part One

by Kevin Hogan

The Benefits of Mastering Self-Control

I'll show you a couple of tricks that will help you to keep your over-emotional responses in check and your relationships in a healthy balance of "give" and "take".

I'll also show you how to cope with stress in your hectic life.

Let's do a quick visualization that will help you to grasp the concept of self-discipline a lot better. (Another synonym for self-regulation in this set of articles, that we'll tease out the nuances later.)

Conditioned Reactions

Suddenly a phone rings.

What do you do? Of course you answer it. Do you know why?

(I curse myself for not turning the ringer off and then listen to it ring four times before going to voicemail.)

Not because you are expecting some life-changing news or because you can't wait to see who's calling. You answer the phone due to your previous conditioning.

The ring of the phone is a signal, an irritant, which you have learned to obey. You do it without thinking or making any special decision. A phone rings - you react. You get up from your comfortable chair, put my article aside, and hurry to answer it.

You are acting exactly as if you are Pavlov's dog.

From a logical and pragmatic, non-conditioned point of view...If your kids aren't out playing, then what's the point?

You see how easy that external irritant has set you in motion. It has changed your previous mindset and course of action. After all you were planning on reading in peace and quiet for some time. You were looking forward to it… Unfortunately, your life long conditioned reaction to this irritant has ruined your beautiful plans.

This is a simple every-day situation, but I want you to pay attention to one little detail that most of us so often forget. You didn't have to react in any way to the ringing phone.

You could have totally ignored it. Instead of getting up, you could have been relaxing and letting your body soak into that comfortable chair. All you had to do is to stick to you initial plan, read, rest, learn. All on purpose. All with intention.

Then you let someone else start driving your brain. You got right up out of the car and said, "Hey, the phone is ringing. That means it's time for me to now stop being me and let some random person drive my brain."

Now imagine the same situation but a slightly different scenario. You are enjoying yourself, reading, learning, letting you mind and body rest. The phone rings. But instead of getting up, you ignore the phone, staying unemotional. In the back of your mind you are aware of the signal that your phone is making, but you are not paying any attention to it. You refuse to follow your initial reflex.

You exert SELF-CONTROL.

The phone doesn't have any control over your behavior and cannot move you an inch....but like 90-99% of all the behaviors you do, it's triggered and you nonconsciously follow through.

Don't get me wrong! I'm not saying that you should never answer the phone again. (If your relative is in the hospital with a terminal illness or your kids are in school and you anticipate their call for some reason, go get the phone.)

But you need to condition yourself to hear a phone ring and think, "who would I want to talk to?"

Look at the caller ID.

Is that person on the other end?

Think about how it FEELS inside, right now as you think of ignoring the phone ringing...because...that...is the power of the nonconscious, nonthinking brain. It's the power of triggers.

It's the fundamental reason that people don't live the life they want 168/24/7.

It starts to make sense now, but NOW WHAT?

Here's what has to happen to not be like Pavlov's dog...:

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Kevin Hogan
Network 3000 Publishing
3432 Denmark #108
Eagan, MN 55123
(612) 616-0732

Photos appear under license with Stockexpert.

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