The Antidote for the Pain of Rejection
by Kevin Hogan
Have you ever thought about why you NEED and CRAVE acceptance? Everyone does. It's like water.
WANTS vs. NEEDS
You WANT a nicer house.
You WANT a fancy car.
You WANT to be 10 pounds lighter.
You NEED to be accepted.
You NEED to be valued.
You NEED to be included.
You NEED to belong.
The need for acceptance and belonging are big time
Your very health and survival hinges on belonging to someone/some group!
Any time that you face
rejection, you bring yourself into an
unbalanced emotional state and are left feeling the desire for
this need that you crave at your very core.
Why does rejection have such a powerful effect on your well-
The Mega Need For Acceptance
In the complexity of our human
existence.... the need for acceptance and belonging is a
fundamental need that exists within each of us.
The need to belong is right up there with our basic needs for survival...and is
correlated to survival.
Read that again before you go on...
It is nearly as important to us as the need for food and water.
The need to belong has been shown to be of such importance
that without it, people suffer mental and physical illness, and
are sometimes even rendered incapacitated.
People will do almost ANYTHING to belong…
Rejection : A Threat To Your Very Survival
Rejection is a threat to your very survival. It can be traced all the way back
to the days when you were a baby and were dependent on others
for your most basic survival needs.
You had no choice but to learn and be conditioned to depend on
those who cared for you and soon that threat of rejection also
became a threat to your emotional happiness and well-being.
Harsh forms of rejection in a child's life create scars that
he or she will carry around for life...or until they "do the work"
with the right person.
- Were you ever yelled at?
- Left feeling unimportant or alone?
- Abandoned by a parent?
- Pushed away when you wanted to communicate?
- Turned away when you needed love?
All of these carry an emotional message of "REJECTION"… and you
experience it all at an early age.
- Rejection from a caregiver
- Parental rejection
- Abuse (both physical or emotional)
- Physical or emotional neglect
Repeated rejection has caused you to expect rejection and also
increases your chances of being more sensitive to rejection or
situations where you even suspect that rejection is possible.
It channels the rest of your life...: Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
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