The Antidote for the Pain of Rejection
by Kevin Hogan
Turning Rejection to Your Advantage
As I write, I'll also show you how to do some self-therapy. You're about to see how rejection
works and how you can turn it to your advantage.
Key Point 1: rejection always hurts. But...
Rejection can almost always propel you to move up to yet another
This isn't a BS pep talk.
This is Real Life 101. Remember this. Live this. Be this...for the rest of your life.
I still hate rejection, but now I know that when I get rejected,
there is almost always something sweet that I will make happen
on the journey.
Why does the pain of rejection run so deep?
Imagine you ask a cute girl out for a date, or to dance,
Now this woman is a "7"; and that's a good thing.
She says "no" to date, dance and/or whatever...
There are now TWO directions that you can take.
You can move to a "6" and theoretically stand a better
chance at hearing "yes"....
...or you can move to an "8" and have a theoretically lesser chance
of hearing "yes", but a bigger payoff that will springboard
you forever into the future.
Additionally, if 8 says "yes," 7 will see 8 and then she'll know she screwed up.
Getting 8 to dance, date or whatever is great. Getting 8 AND making sure that 7 sees 8 is a potent double dose of anti-rejection serum.
Bonus Upside? If 7 sees you get turned down by 8 you've lost nothing in the eyes of 7.
RULE: Until proven 248 times that you are wrong, assume they are the moron; and YOU keep asking elsewhere, for better, for more.
[If you don't know the significance of 247 in my life, google: "kevinhogan.com rejected 247 times"]
One more time: Assume YOU are the catch until you get 247 "no" answers. Then throw in the towel. Until then you ask the 8. And then 8a. And then 8b. And then 8c...until.
KEY POINT: You are now covertly conditioning yourself for your future, which is going to last a long, long time...
...and realize that most people don't even go to 6, forget considering the pain of 8.
Your competitor for 8? They quit. They get more depressed because they were turned down...rejected...told "no"....whine...and they go and "live with" the result. They lost and they stay lost.
You lost until you won.
If you hate rejection half as much as I do, move UP to 8 and be able to justify your value.
In 2008, I made an offer on a 9,000 square foot house. They countered. When it comes to serious money, I rarely negotiate
anything of significance.
Essentially, I don't accept counters and I walked away. They were stunned. They called my Agent, Gary The Real Estate Guy you've heard me talk about, and THEY countered their own offer to me...by reducing the price of the house by just over 15%.
The house was now being offered to me for 41% of it's original list price...if I said, "yes."
I said, "not yet."
If you cave, and consistently teach yourself to accept LESS in life, of life, with life, for your life, then you are breeding a literal loser.
That's eventually going to shape your self-esteem.
Your reaction to rejection IS where it's all at...and I am quite sure you can't beat my record of more than 247 rejections...and if you go for it...you will end up with anything you want in life.
Meanwhile...worse case scenario: Miss 8 says, "no."
Not important. It hurts. Big deal.
Go to 9 and be able to justify your value.
Otherwise you will become a "normal person" who caves in the face of rejection.
Think about it....
Hurting is one thing.
Crying is a reasonable and fair reaction.
What you do NEXT...is your CHOICE...and what you do next is YOU training YOU for every other interaction you will have in the future.
Why Do the Feelings of Rejection Run So Deep and Why Do They
Permeate our Very Existence as Human Beings?
Find out...then use Rejection to get to 9 or 10:
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