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Kevin Hogan
Network 3000 Publishing
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Eagan, MN 55123
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Self Compassion Means YOU...
Overcome Rejection?

by Kevin Hogan

Page 5

In a second study, college students received either unflattering or flattering feedback after introducing themselves to an observer using a video camera.

Flexible Work Hours. istockphoto/quavondo For participants with higher self-compassion, they were found to be less angry than participants with lower self-esteem as they received unflattering responses.

Leary also says, "Self-compassion may buffer people against negative events and engender positive self-feelings without the negative features that are sometimes associated with high self-esteem such as defensiveness and a sense of entitlement".

In the third study, Leary used a series of exercises to increase self-compassion.

The participants were first asked to write about a negative event that they experienced in high school or college that made them feel badly about themselves. They were then asked to list ways in which other people experience similar events also and write a paragraph expressing understanding, kindness and concern to themselves in the same way that they might write a letter to a friend who had went through the same experience. They were asked to describe the event objectively and unemotionally.

This study showed that self-compassion can be induced, creating positive cognitive and emotional effects in the mindset, at least in the short-term.

"Highly self-compassionate people actually took more responsibility for their shortcomings and problems because they didn't beat themselves up when things went badly for them, they were able to admit their mistakes," said Leary.

"A self-compassionate mindset may be particularly beneficial for people with low self-esteem."

  • The self-compassionate participants gave themselves a break.

  • The self-compassionate participants also reported themselves to be less angry and happier.

  • Self-compassionate students were also less likely to dwell on negative events and to view neutral feedback positively.

If you wouldn't call your friend a "Failure", "loser", or "stupid", why would you tell yourself that?

Students who didn't have great self-esteem were still helped by self-compassion.

They handled failure better if they were kind to themselves about it, even though they had lower self-esteem.

Why does self-compassion work when self-esteem doesn't?:

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Kevin Hogan
Network 3000 Publishing
3432 Denmark #108
Eagan, MN 55123
(612) 616-0732

Photo appears under license with istockphoto/TommL.

Kevin Hogan: Influence, Persuasion, Wealth Building

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