Making Decisions
That You Don't Regret

Use Thinking Frames To (Almost Always) Know What To Do

by Kevin Hogan

This week, we find out how to create frames. First, let's quickly review what we took home previously.

We concluded that:

• Our frame causes us to filter almost EVERYTHING ...out...except what we are looking at and looking for.

• Our frames are very difficult for US to see. In fact, when you look through the window you almost can't see the frame.

• Our frames seem to represent reality and seem complete...seem....

• Before making decisions, always step back and look at YOUR frame.

• With rare exception, don't weigh the emotion...if you use emotions and feelings as a yardstick (criteria), you have no ability to make a good or right decision.

• We also determined that before deciding ANYTHING, we have to look at our frame first.

• What issue does your frame currently address most? (What is the key criteria?)

• If that frame disappeared, what issues (criteria) would be important in your new frame? List at least FIVE.

• What else is currently being obscured in the picture? (Not seen or evaluated....) List at least FIVE

• Of the 10 things you listed, which five are the most important to a theoretical NEW FRAME.

• We also figured out that failure to recognize their frames and yardsticks and adding those frames and yardsticks to your own is the key cause of conflict in relationships.

• Decisions can't be jointly made if people have frames and measurements that are exclusive of each other. It shows that two people aren't thinking and bad decisions will be made.

• We also concluded that we should ALWAYS assume we have an impoverished frame AND criteria and build a new frame. You can always take your Ultimatum Frame back and make instant bad decisions or you can take a few minutes and make a lot of right decisions.

• Finally (man, we've covered a lot so far!) we determined that having a friend look at our frame would give us a good balance before we examine the decision itself.

CREATING FRAMES

There are two ways you can build frames. You can build them from the decision down; or the need or want up.

Building a frame from the decision down means that you feel (there's that ugly word) compelled to make a decision because of something, and you have honed in on that "something."

In our case of the husband and wife last time, the man was sick of his Saturday night arguments with his wife.

So, his feelings concluded for his lazy brain that he must not have that Saturday night argument anymore, or out the door she goes.

Today we find out what happens to the couple!

Today we find out how to create a quick and effective frame step-by-step. Now, out the door she goes is a fairly big "decision." Lots of ramifications that he hasn't even considered or thought about. Lots of windows he hasn't looked out. Lots of people affected by his hot-headed feelings that are innocent bystanders.

But, people don't think about ramifications or collateral damage. They think only about the "something." They make their frame from the decision down.

What should they be doing?

Continue: Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

Kevin Hogan
Network 3000 Publishing
3432 Denmark #108
Eagan, MN 55123
(612) 616-0732

Photos appear under license with Stockexpert.

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