The Power in Persuasion
The Combination that Unlocks the Safe
(Part 9)
by Kevin Hogan
The Familiar, The Certain, The Consistent
Contrary to popular belief, familiarity does not breed contempt (except in close relationships).
The reason the old axiom still has some value is that in relationships that are close, where people are in proximity to each other all day, almost every day, then familiarity can indeed breed contempt.
In most other areas of life...especially those that require persuasion, you want to have this effect on the other person's mind:
"Here is a surprise from someone/something that is pleasantly familiar to you."
That is the combination that unlocks the safe.
When people spend a LOT of time together, more often than not, they will develop negative triggers related to facial cues, facial expressions, body language and tone of voice that any other person would never negatively associate to you.
So your spouse, your kids, your parents, your business partner or boss, as examples, will have 50 negative and powerful cues for anger, resentment and contempt with you, where your neighbor who lives next to you but isn't in close daily communication with you through thick and thin...they have none!
Thus the popularity of divorce shows how powerful the negative triggers can be. Combining this with the natural cognitive belief that the grass is greener elsewhere can cause some useful relationship splits, and can also cause some disastrous splits.
All of that said, familiarity (which can be different than comfort) is a powerful magnet. You WILL find yourself drawn to that which is familiar whether or not it's "good for you."
For example, if you've been in a relationship with a blonde-haired woman for 15 years, the chances are very high you will not regularly date non-blondes if the relationship splits up. That's the way the brain works.
KEYPOINT: Familiarity is a powerful persuader.
Just because I yell at the cable guy or the kids, doesn't mean I get a new cable guy or the kids. The cable guy and the kids can cause a LOT of pain, but it takes a LOT MORE pain to get a new cable guy or new kids!
We know pain is 2.5 times as powerful as pleasure in motivation. What about Familiarity vs. Pain?
You'll find familiarity significantly more powerful than pain.
Every time you are contrasting the various Powers of Persuasion, think of this example: Spouse Abuse. One partner abuses the hell out of the other partner. The abused spouse (it could be both, of course) calls the police but when the police get to the front door, there is a different story. "Everything is fine, officer."
More often than not, the spouse who got beat up doesn't leave and go find another hunter or nurturer. Is the brain really smart enough to realize that the next hunter or nurturer is roughly going to have the same set of problems? I doubt it.
People simply gravitate to that which is familiar and with a preference toward pleasant and yet again further when the preference includes SURPRISE!
...Because change is less desirable than pain....
Familiarity is the status quo, is consistent, is predictable, is certain, is what the human brain seeks.
Familiarity Gives Birth to Successful Persuasion
Studies indicate that it takes an average customer as many as a half-dozen or more exposures to any type of advertising before he/she is potentially ready to buy.
How long has it taken Coca-Cola or Dunkin Donuts to become household words?
A lot longer than one advertisement, one press release, or one direct mail campaign.
And, especially in times of stress and distress, people seek out that which is familiar...brands...and for better or worse, people who are familiar to us are brands.
KEY CONCEPT: The INTENTIONAL pathway to familiarity is consistency.
Intentional Consistency yields results. So it's important for you to maintain a consistent tone and look to your advertising and advertising messages.
Brands don't become brands until they become consistent in message, in memory impact and in emotional content.
Advertisements: Your ads should use consistency to establish brand recognition.
You don't need to advertise because you aren't in business?
Baloney. (which is less intense than bull sh...)
You as a person are advertising...all the time. You are sending messages verbally and nonverbally all the time and they do tend to be consistent.
You can and do send messages by the clothes you wear or don't. You send messages that are being read by everyone all around. You are telling people how you want them to respond to you at every turn. Those behaviors you see replicated over and over, by others, in response to your presence, show you the result of your advertising.
With that simple notion in mind, let's look at advertising in the business sense first beceause these are the most clear cut pictures.
Your advertisements can be institutional (conveying a general theme of who you are and what you do), educational (A CPA might offer some practical tax preparation tips in April advertisements) or “call to action” in nature, as long as they hit the same "notes" each time.
Direct mail/E-mail: Your marketing campaign should include some form of mailing at least a half dozen times a year to your current clients and prospective ones. This can be in the form of a newsletter, a series of postcards, or a combination.
Public Relations: This includes everything from announcements, press releases, and feature articles on new hires, new products, new services, and new client relationships. As a minimum, you should strive for one announcement per month to be sent to your local, regional and industry.
What can you do to cause surprise within pleasant familiarity? 
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Kevin Hogan
Network 3000 Publishing
3432 Denmark #108
Eagan, MN 55123
(612) 616-0732
Photos appear under license with Stockexpert.
