The Persuasion Sequence
Are You Getting it Right?
Kevin Hogan
Page 4
$10,000 KEY: It's not the client's "resistance" that matters so much, but how you respond to it that will ultimately determine the final one word answer you hear. (Yes or No!) This is true in sales, marketing, management, dating, therapy...
In EVERY human interaction you should ANTICIPATE resistance because it IS going to happen.
How did Rafael respond to me? With a script. Yuk.
How many thousands will leave The Rio and go to The Venetian because they are amazing when you call and do NOT use a script???
In other words, the responsibility stands with you to determine your response to your client's reaction and resistance. You can think of it as your personal style.
Your Personal Style Does Matter
And your style and manner will make all the difference in the world. Remember the 2004 Presidential Debates? The same words that come out of George Bush or John Kerry's mouth sound a lot better when they were uttered from Kennedy or Reagan. JFK and RR had style. It's why scripting is marginal if used as a guide at most, and a recipe for permanent failure in most other areas. Style...who you are, how they "feel" you, your empathy, your allowing them to feel completely comfortable with you...style...
Empathy means thinking about what your client/customer might want and giving it to them with your own personal flair.
There's a restaurant at the MGM Grand called Nob Hill. It is 100% style. The food is great but it is only secondary to the restaurant itself. Why? There are dozens of booths that are beautifully partitioned with glass dividers creating an intimate atmosphere where you can hear the person you are with. In another part of the restaurant there are numerous larger tables where you can enjoy energetic conversation with a group. It's elegant. Style...
And then there is Burger King...
Now, when I walk into Nob Hill and when someone walks into Burger King, I might hear the exact same words from the person who is going to serve me...but I suspect that those words will be heard and mean very different things depending on which restaurant I'm in. (Nothing against BK, my kids enjoy getting the drive thru once in awhile...)
BK is not trying to be empathic with ME, they are being empathic with my kids and THERE, they succeed.
YOU are the place. You are the context. You create an aura and ambience around you. It is rather unique and it is going to be perceived as positive or negative, comfortable or threatening, conducive to agreement or preparatory to doing battle. Style...
Initial resistance is normal and necessary! In a small percentage of people, there is only resistance. But in the majority of people resistance can be temporary. The right communication style, not words...will determine whether the resistance stays and becomes impenetrable.
Take Responsibility for Dealing with Resistance
Rule: 8 times out of 10. It's not them. It's you.
Anyone who tells you otherwise is kidding you. Don't buy it. You take it personally because it is personal. You matter a lot. If they don't like you, it doesn't mean you are a bad guy.
If you are regularly experiencing PERSISTENT resistance that is maintained and increased through your persuasive communication attempts, it IS you (or possibly the product/service).
Discrepancy
Discrepancy is simple. It's the difference between where someone wants to be and where they actually are.
And as I've discussed before, just because someone wants to be somewhere that isn't where they are at, in no way means they will take any action to get there. In fact, they probably won't.
As noted in Science of Influence Volume 31, the hamster on the wheel must come up with reasons for change and feel them. You can offer reasons not to change and validate the reasons your client must change BUT...if you hard-sell anyone...all you get is a "yes" followed by no follow-through, a canceled order, a canceled appointment....a canceled career.
Relationships built on empathy will last, and discrepancy discovered in an empathic relationship will be acted on as a TEAM. Two against the discrepancy. Not coach against client.
The Persuasion Sequence
Find your client's sense of discrepancy through curiosity, asking and feeling. Ask how you can help resolve it. The results are going to be obvious as you learn the sequencing of persuasive communication.
Where can you find more information like this? The only place we know that gives you specific ways that you can influence others through motivation with empathy (and other techniques!)
In 1999 one of the world's finest mentalists (someone who "reads minds" for entertainment without lying to you...it's magic...) agreed to show me how to calibrate to almost anyone's thought processes with a quick look at the person and the expression on their face. It took me all of a couple of hours to "get it." All he asked in return was to tap my mind on the latest in persuasion. It was a match made in heaven.
The principles of mind reading are wrapped up in what Fortune 500 companies call psychographics. In a nutshell, you can tell a LOT about a person by asking three questions and looking at how they dress and keep themselves. No. Not a lot....everything that matters.
Mark told me that his accuracy was unparalleled and after I successfully did what he did with people, I never doubted him again.
I took the three questions, the appearance pieces and assembled the information into the coolest psychographic tool anyone could ask for.
These two (of 12) CD's alone are worth 10 times the price of the Advance Course and that is understating the fact dramatically.
This is one of the big reasons people find the advanced course their "favorite" of the Science of Influence sets.
The information here will either help you or your competitor plant the flag atop your market. Let it be you!
