Those four words by themselves mean nothing. Put into the context of influence and the correct sequencing...impressive things can happen. Watch and see what I mean...
A couple of years ago, I got an invitation to be a judge in the Miss Rio 2006 Beauty Contest. Now that may or may not sound cool to you, but I live for stuff like this....
And I said "no."
Now, how is THAT possible. If you REALLY want to do something fun and it comes along, how is it POSSIBLE that when you have the means and ability...you say "no."
(Aside from just being not real bright...)
Take a peek at the invitation to be that judge at the "driver" level. (see the 16 Basic Human Desires, as discussed in Covert Hypnosis: Home Study Program) the pleasure of judging the contest would be a 10....on a scale of one to 10...or more.
And that would still be underestimating things. Now, let's say that not finishing the date-promised novel (finishing a novel is along the lines of having a baby...a wonderful experience and painful in the final moments) on time is painful...also a 10...on a scale of one to 10. I'm never late for anything and have an annoying habit of doing the right thing...10...is underestimating the anticipation of regret.
But, most of you know that pain is far more powerful in motivation than is pleasure. On average, across themes, it's 2.5 times as powerful. So to overcome the "10" would take a "25" on the pleasure scale and, unfortunately, the scale only goes to 10.
The competing commitment in this case is very big and the discrepancy between finishing the novel (status quo) and taking a two-day weekend (desired outcome) is too big of a gulf to personally "change my mind."
Conflicting Desires
And it is an either/or scenario. Conflicting desires are often, but not always, put to the test of values and beliefs. Values and beliefs are *not* usually as powerful as desires and drivers. It takes thought and cognition to move to this level of decision.
When people are sitting in a room all by themselves and the hidden cameras have all been shut off, people will jump on their desires and leave their values in the dust.
And I'll come back to the element of discrepancy shortly. The fact that I wasn't going be a judge, didn't mean I wasn't persuaded to WANT to go. It means my behavior... my actions are such that I didn't go. In spite of the desire, due to the perceived value of a competing commitment, the pain wins. And notice that this is not a bad thing, necessarily.
Now, how did The Rio learn to have empathy for me? (How did they know that I might be an excellent choice to be a judge?) Why not invite me to play slots or give me free tickets to The Scintas and The Chippendales shows?
Once they got to know me, they found out how to appeal to me. They found the hot button. Harrah's owns The Rio and is well known for getting to know their clients.
But it wasn't always like that with The Rio. They are very good at keeping a customer, but not so good at acquiring one...watch...
The Rio is one of the truly fun hotels in Las Vegas. It's very hard to walk into that place and not see just about everyone having a great time....so...turn the clock back 9 more months with me...as I think about The Rio...
