And if that isn't hard enough to answer, what is seduction; is it OK to experience - and then the toughest of all...is stalking a bad thing...or is
it a good thing?
I was tempted to talk about how everyday citizens of the United States were now being obligated to bail out bankers in addition to bond holders of mortgage
companies....but it made me ill thinking about it...so I figured I'd "break the state of madness" completely... with some of the most controversial and complex questions facing a politically correct society in 2009.
There are a few interesting things people like to talk about when they interview me. Body language, persuasion, attraction, sexuality and love.
Most people mistake "love" for an emotion, much like say "fear" or "anger." But of course, it's nothing of the kind.
Love is a MOTIVATION, not an EMOTION.
There are seven basic and fundamental emotions. They include:
Joy
Contentment
Anger
Fear
Surprise
Sadness
Contempt
Love is nowhere to be found.
Pause and think about that for a second. Love, like "happiness," has definitions that are all up for grabs. Emotions are clear cut. I feel "fear" and YOU KNOW what that means. I feel "sadness" and you KNOW what that means.
I say "love" or "happy" and you really don't have a clue what I'm feeling...
Interesting?
I'll be back here in a second.
Let's set up a parallel path to walk on here.
Today I want to share with you some recent research about stalking, seduction, and "love"...where they intersect and where they are...the same...and where they are different. Not for the feint of heart!
Finally our third parallel path....New research sheds light on nonverbal communication, including body language, that optimizes sending and interpreting and decoding messages that you may never have previously understood.
Far closer to an "addiction" than an emotion, "love" begins to make sense when you shift what you currently think about "love"...what it has meant to you... and then to consider what the research shows... so you understand how it works, relates to sex, attraction, desire, and yes, seduction.
Love at First Sight?
Let's start at something we've all experienced.
Love at first sight. We all have stories. Some have happy endings, others finish more like the Amityville Horror. Many if not all, have felt "love at first sight."
Based on current neuroscience research just released, it appears that love at first sight is most accurately described as... seeing, identifying, confirming, and targeting the "preferred mate."
Now that doesn't sound "romantic," or what The Beatles sang about as "love," but it certainly can be romantic..., and it can be not-so romantic as well! Read the definition again and then read on.
Once seen, identified, confirmed and targeted...it is then that the preferred mate becomes an object of competition. In some respects, the one seeing the target sees that person much as a caffeine addict does a cup of coffee or Diet Coke...a reward for what could rapidly become an addiction.
In fact, there is no difference between "stalking" and the pursuit of love after first sight.
At least not in the newly "addicted" individual. (This addiction is not necessarily a bad addiction. Certainly many addictions are useful and not harmful.)
The research, which I will unveil for you in a moment, reveals that "love" feelings vary from person to person but using advanced brain scanning technology one thing is the same for everyone.... The sight of the "preferred mate," lights up the motivation and reward centers of the brain like a Christmas tree.
Could it possibly be "true" that stalking and love are essentially the same thing?
Once seen, identified, confirmed and targeted...it is then that the preferred mate becomes an object of competition. In some respects, the one seeing the target sees that person much as a caffeine addict does a cup of coffee or Diet Coke...a reward for what could rapidly become an addiction.