Jealousy
Kevin Hogan
Page 5
So let's begin with those who wouldn't go hunting to find the kids.
Did they VALUE the children?
or
Is the reason they are not going in search of their kidnapped
children... because the woman is agreeable and emotionally stable?
"It's OK, they will be returned safely. I can use 'The Secret' to
accomplish this. All will be well. Now please sit down and eat your
dinner...."
The children are possessions, and my guess is that most people who
have their children taken from them will react with disagreeableness
and emotional instability.
"Mom, what are you doing?"
"I'm steaming open the envelope so Daddy doesn't know I read what
was inside."
"Oh, OK."
Mom was no idiot. And it turned out she was "right."
And...what about parents who leave their children?
Let's go there.
If a parent leaves their children, here's the fact: They don't care
about the children as much as they do the random experiences they
might experience the day they leave.
How did the parent who stayed, end up with the parent who left?!
What the hell was she thinking and why is this SO common?
How can it be that there are MILLIONS of men in the United States
who walk out the door and do nothing to take care of their children
for the rest of their lives?
Answer: They don't care.
What does that say about mate selection?
Women are not so good at CRITERIA.
Obviously the guy who leaves is a Zen Jerk and has no redeeming value, at least at this period in his life. You can't change that biology. Therefore, the onus, the burden, comes to the woman to select a NON ZEN JERK.
She was looking for agreeable and emotionally stable. She got it.
My Mom did...
And the men that left...were they possessive, jealous, disagreeable
and neurotic?
Nope.
They were zen masters. Laid back and cool. No worries mate. "I feel
free around him." Yes you do.
Many, many women are emotionally attracted to this walking disaster.
There is one good thing about the disastrous selection the woman made.
He left.
Of course, she will choose the same guy next time because learning is
trial and error, and we don't live long enough to get past all the
errors in most cases.
But thankfully, in retrospect, he left.
Is that the person you want taking care of your children?
Why would a woman have connected with this person in the first place?
Why indeed.
Remember, this detached person is likely to be agreeable and emotionally
stable. Calm.
Does the analogy between children being taken, to that of a partner
being taken away, break down?
Of course...at some point....but the point is that you want to
evaluate jealousy from a NON-FEELING standpoint.
Do you want the Father of the child to be unemotional and agreeable
and then walk out the door...or do you want the Father who will fight
for the child...who will be there to protect from the lions...able
to buy a cave that has a security system?
Possession may not always FEEL good, but it OFTEN FEELS GOOD.
...and of course the slurp doesn't ever happen, so there is no experience
of greater pain.
Get it?
Keypoint: Being desired. Being significant. Being important. Being meaningful
to others might be the most valuable feeling we have.
And with that might come a paradox.
Arguably and broadly speaking, a choice you may have is to be with a
possessive, volatile, irritable person who will fight to protect his
her mate/family or to be with a passive, zen like, agreeable person
who will be happy to walk out in a heartbeat and leave the
responsibility behind.
Understand that this is just one mix of a lot of variables and it
doesn't summarize all situations regarding jealousy.
But jealousy isn't the complete disaster people think it is, if they
get what ELSE jealousy means.
The Upside of Jealousy? ... 
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Kevin Hogan
Network 3000 Publishing
3432 Denmark #108
Eagan, MN 55123
(612) 616-0732
Photos appear under license with Stockexpert.
