Jealousy
Kevin Hogan
Page 2
Jealousy and Fatal Attraction?
You begin by determining BASIS. Is there a basis for the feelings...
any of them....that are involved in jealousy?
But let's even set aside the basis and get right to the inner core of
jealousy.
The Inner core of Jealousy is...
Attraction
Let's go to attractiveness and attraction.
Because this is pretty much the Chicken/Egg part...and you have
to start somewhere.
Jealousy begins with attraction and carries on through possession.
Having a possession leave you, or contemplating that a possession
would leave you is to bring the pot to a full boil.
Now there are different degrees of possession, based upon the importance or value of an "item" to each person, in the mind of the jealous person.
A large piece of this measure is grounded in attractiveness.
Who is attractive? And how attractive is that person, or you? Why
does it matter?
Here's the problem:
As a rule, men agree with each other when evaluating women's
attractiveness.
As a rule, women will often disagree when evaluating a man's
attractiveness.
Don't get me wrong, Brad Pitt works for pretty much all women.
There probably is a genetically defective heterosexual female where there is an
exception...somewhere....
And if you're in my shoes...you're out of luck in that battle for
resources and physical attractiveness...even if she tells you she'd
rather be with you. She's being kind. Appreciate her deceptive
statement. Don't believe it.
Women generally agree that thin and muscular are good attributes if
you are a man. Those increase your odds that someone finds you
physically attractive.
Makes sense. Women certainly don't go around trying to find the
guy who can't fit through the door to the bathroom on the plane...
The Core of Jealous Feelings
It's within the relationship of the contrast between those two factors,
the women disagreeing and the men agreeing.... that argument,
debate, fighting, shooting....all happen.
That, and the factors that support it, show you why it's easy to
see that men are more jealous, on average, than women.
Understand: If There are 100 women in some group, random or
otherwise, they ARE ranked from 1 to 100 in attractiveness...
and in fact, there are 10, that are in the top 10%.
The men will roughly pick the same 10 women. Maybe they will pick a
total of 15 depending on who's picking. But the "supply" will be small.
If a man is involved with a woman who is in the top 10%, imagine
that having that possession taken from them would probably not be met
with approval.
Love - sure, attachment - sure, Father/Mother of children - sure. Personal
investment in that person - oh yes....but at the core...
Keypoint: The probability of "moving up" is very small if you lose a top 10 percenter.
People tend to ferociously protect their most valued, most coveted possessions.
Therefore, one would predict that because men know what is attractive,
and most men were given the same book at birth to evaluate women, you
can guess that possession will be more intense with more attractive
partners than less attractive partners.
You can also guess that guarding such a valuable possession is a lot of
work and requires much mental effort. It is stressful and mentally taxing.
Being a human male who has had plenty of interviews with other males,
all of whom feel almost identically...I promise that this is a fact. Managing
your possession is complicated work in 2009. Much less work in 1959.
In 1959 a man could kill another man in "the heat of passion"....a crime of
passion and get off the hook, the judge completely understanding WHY
the man killed the other man or the woman.
(Either solves the problem of devaluation, feelings of rejection, or the third
party getting the second party.)
Again, to have someone come by and snap up your top 10 percenter will not
be met with your approval.
Simple enough?
And What about Women? ... 
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Kevin Hogan
Network 3000 Publishing
3432 Denmark #108
Eagan, MN 55123
(612) 616-0732
Photos appear under license with Stockexpert.
