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The Second New Law of Persuasion
Threads in the Shadows - Page 2
By Kevin Hogan
The person who has the shared experience which could be as simple as sitting next to each other on a plane or a bus to the ball game, in church or school. This random person hears yes to difficult requests about half of the time. Those who are randomly asked by someone at first encounter? Those requests succeed about 1/4 of the time.
What happens if the two people did not talk to each other on the plane but they did when they were heading for the taxi line or limo?
Words do not need to be exchanged. Not even one.
An experience is shared.
The experience of merciless discomfort at 34,000 feet for 1, 2 or 10 hours is enough to cause half of people to comply with ridiculous requests.
A shared experience, no matter how benign is enough to connect two people. Research shows it can take less than 90 seconds for this bond to form.
But there are other threads in the shadows that bring people closer, faster.
If you find out, in some offhanded fashion, that you and I have the same birthday, about 3 times out of 4, I will agree to go quite a distance for you when asked.
Just TALKING about their birthday is enough to increase the probability of another person saying yes, to you.
You recognizing the significance of their birthday is enough to cause some people to identify with you. But this is not a "technique." It is influence. In the fashion of a background the minor connection generates compliance. Bring it to the foreground and it takes away from agreement.
If I discover in a similar offhanded fashion that you and I share the same astrological sign, even if you find no value in astrology. I am very likely to say yes to simple requests. After all Scorpios have to stick together.
If you and I share something simple in common like a similar shirt, the book we are reading, pretty much any single thread carries influence. It means I will comply with most requests most of the time.
And if that thread is rare or obscure, it will be unusual that I would decline your request.
What is the caveat?
If all it takes is for you and I to share similar rare finger print types (there is no such thing) and I stumble upon this information I will comply about 5/6 of the time to most reasonable and some unreasonable requests.
There is a big prerequisite in this new law of persuasion.
If you point out the similarity to me, everything falls apart.
Tell me that you are just like me or that we share an interest in handicapping, wealth accumulation, influence, or whatever and I will say no. So will you. So will almost everyone.
This is why Kevin, I am just like you, does not work in selling, asking for a date or anything else in life.
It is in fact an almost guaranteed door in the face that will not get opened again. Why? It is overtly manipulative. I see it for what it is. Everyone does. Threads however, do not have to be absolutely invisible. They do have to be in the shadows. Imagine that I was going to ask you for a favor, or whatever it is I might ask you to do or think.
I know you like Christmas because I saw all the cool photos on your Facebook page before we met for lunch. But hey, it is 90 degrees and the middle of August!
I might just pull out my iPhone and show you this photo of me at the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas.
Christmas has lots of shared global metaphors. One of those is lights around trees.
Hey Chris, you ever been to Vegas and seen the Wynn? It is gorgeous. The trees are decorated with lights. Check this out. (Hand the person your cell phone and let them scroll a few images.)
Threads in the shadows.
Photos appear under license with Stockexpert.