Magical Messages that
Unlock the Mind
by Kevin Hogan
The Gift of Freedom
(BTW, those are Magic Words)
I've shared this story before. It is worth another look!
I was out gift shopping and there was a section in the store where there were magnets designed as gifts for women. About 5% of them had messages on them about NOT ALWAYS doing the dishes.
5% in my mind is GIGANTIC. There is SOMETHING here that I didn't instantly understand.
None of the things humans desire happen when the dishes are being done...
So the identification with the message about the dishes goes deeper than just doing dishes.
Ah...so you have an INTERPRETATION and ASSIGNATION OF MEANING issue here...
Doing the dishes MEANS SOMETHING to customers at the magnet store!
What is it? It is a FEELING attached to one word...freedom...and FREEDOM matters, especially if it's inferred that something like washing the dishes takes away from freedom.
The funniest, most irrational things always come back to the nature of you and me.
I can go work a 16 hour day, come home with my eyes on top of each other, my brain overheating and whether you are roommate, my wife or my computer, you want me to do the dishes.
Get this concept and you understand how to READ PEOPLE.
There is no logic to feelings, except of course, that they are predictable. I don't need to do the laundry or wash out the sink...but I do need to do the dishes. (And never you fear. I do the dishes, laundry AND clean out the sink and I'm 100% good with that.)
These mindless but important tasks have become a fascinating measurement tool in the "meaning" department of life, yes?
Now you should know that "doing the dishes" is actually important to me, because I'm one of those slightly OCD people who doesn't like to see the dirty dishes on the counter when food is being served.
They belong in the dishwasher. And the rest will join them immediately after dinner. And because I like "orderliness", this will happen even after 16 hours of work, if necessary. So I DO the dishes...mostly because of neuroses.
Of course, it isn't like this for people in normal mental health.
Those "normal" people are going to have serious problems in the relationship!
The luckiest thing a person can have in the world is someone who is a bit of a control freak and also a bit OCD.
Everything gets done, quickly, efficiently, though there may be some grumbling about imbalance. Nevertheless, CF plus OCD = clean house, stable income and most of human needs met.
SAYING the Magic Words
Ah. A reminder of an important story.
When I received my personal 1099 Misc, April 1, 2008 from Wells Fargo, it had all of my interest payments from a business I own reported under my personal tax ID number, making it appear to the IRS and the state of Minnesota that I earned EXACTLY 10 times more income than I actually did.
I was told that it would be fixed.
Obviously I did NOT believe it because fixing this takes time, paperwork, requires looking stupid for an employee. Etc. It's not going to happen.
Knowing all of this, I asked WHO was going to send the fax to the office that generates the 1099's.
"To Whom It May Concern, and they'll take care of it, asap."
I didn't lose my composure.
I must have had a sign on that said, "I am a total moron, tell me anything."
I laughed, of course. I said I would see him in four months with the same documents....and I did on August 1.
Those were NOT the Magic Words.
The MAGIC WORDS would have been, "I'll take care of all of this for you, Dr. Hogan, because just like it says on the computer screen in bright green, you are a "High Value" customer and we are here to help you. I will fax you the documents as soon as I get them back."
Those would have been Magic Words, creating some comfort and a sense of familiarity with the way I treat other people....
Of course, that didn't happen, and yes, just a few weeks later, I was back talking to Don. (Don also told me that my deposits were all FDIC-insured...and they absolutely aren't... oh well...)
Think about these words "comfort" and "familiar", then turn the page if you want to know the alchemy of magic words and phrases...
Comfort and Familiar Formula: Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
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Coffee cup photo appears under license with Stockexpert. Article photo appears under license with istockphoto/MarkSwallow.