Influence & Persuasion:
Can You Always Get Your Way?
Kevin Hogan
Page 2
3. How can body language influence when someone is trying to seduce
another person?
Seduction is a nonverbal sport.
The eyes are the most important of all the factors of body language.
When someone looks at us in our eyes, only briefly shifting their
gaze down, ignoring all else around us, there is a burst of
adrenaline that is experienced. A twinge of anxiety and expectation.
There's even an element of fear and uncertainty that makes it all
exciting. Deep penetrating gazes into another person's eyes can be
disturbing and it can be seductive.
Similarly, when a woman is 20 feet away from her target, simple
little glances are all that is necessary to accomplish the goal. Once
a woman looks twice at a man he knows there is "hope." Until she looks
twice, there is no reason to believe anything will happen.
Seduction is a nonverbal dance as well. Once two people are closer
to each other, there is a testing of personal space that takes place.
How close can the other person get without the other person moving
back. That permission to enter personal space is rarely taken back.
Once you are inside of an 18" ring around a person you have
accomplished your objective.
4. Is it possible to always get things your way, without harming the
other person? How?
Ideally, you should typically be able to get things your way while
accomplishing the same for another person.
There are exceptions of
course. If someone is taking street drugs and you want to get them off
drugs or some other potentially deadly behavior, then certainly you
can influence them without them getting what they "want," (their
drugs for example) but most of the time, we are involved in
influencing others to take part in mutually enjoyable or beneficial
activities. There is very little enjoyment or excitement in causing
people to do things that harms them.
Most important lesson in influence and persuasion?...
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The eyes are the most important of all the factors of body language.
When someone looks at us in our eyes, only briefly shifting their
gaze down, ignoring all else around us, there is a burst of
adrenaline that is experienced. A twinge of anxiety and expectation.
There's even an element of fear and uncertainty that makes it all
exciting. Deep penetrating gazes into another person's eyes can be
disturbing and it can be seductive.
