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How Chatty, Boring People Persuade when Smart People Fail
by Kevin Hogan
The Behavior Sequence that Most Often PersuadesHow do chatty people persuade?
It's an important factor for you to be aware of...and once in awhile...incorporate!
Let's begin here:
Key Point: Thoughts very rarely cause emotions. Typically emotions bring thoughts to consciousness.
In the world that you and I live in, behaviors cause emotions and emotions trigger thought processes.
Today I'll illustrate from some recent research how all of this works...or at least give you enough to go forth and conquer. so let's get to some cool research for you and perhaps two short stories to put it all in context so it makes sense.
OK, let's get to it...
Agents of InfluenceI worked in "straight commission" direct sales for 7 years.
With 8 - 10 appointments daily, one of the things I did was, very little talking.
I always felt, though I never had studied, that the amount of time with a customer spent on "selling" vs. "talking" about other stuff was what made a huge difference between my failure and success.
I think the biggest golden nugget was that I have always listened to people tell stories with great attention. Stories fascinate me. One kind of story that people love to tell is their success stories.
I'd ask almost all the business owners I met with, "How did you go from basically nothing to having a successful business?"
Now the fact is not everyone came from nothing, but a lot of people in business that were my customers were indeed from humble backgrounds.
If a police officer's filter of the world is seeing a lot of bad guys in the world, mine was wanting to meet a lot of people who had the kind of success I wanted to achieve, who start with as little as I had.
The education I got while I was "selling" was remarkable. In a 45 minute appointment, I spoke very little. I asked a lot of questions.
I would ask people about everything from where they spent their vacation to the kinds of fish they caught to the profit margins they made on the gasoline they sold.
I was fascinated. Business owners and managers told me pretty much all the secrets of their respective businesses
...and then I would ask for the sale...
If the total time with customer was say 45 minutes, 30 was invested in listening to the customer tell me about their businesses and their success stories. Then I spent five minutes telling a story or two about who I was and my life background. and the final 5 minutes, transacting business.
What I never did was babble on endlessly or ask a bunch of stupid questions. It turns out I could have and I might have done just as well...over even better. Check this out:
Articles photos appear under license with Stockexpert and istockphoto/Professor25.