Influence: Being Assertive
Without Being a Jerk
by Kevin Hogan
Page 3
Assertion simply means, "Hey honey, let's go see your movie tonight
and mine tomorrow night" or vice versa... and it really makes little difference
who gets to go "first" because you aren't four-year-olds....you are 40 and
have gray hair...or you will soon.
Aggression is, "Dammit, you never do what I want to do and we are going
to my movie tonight missey/mister or I'm outta here."
See, assertiveness training while well-intended can easily become... war college ...where you learn to hurt people
you love.
Ugh....
All assertion is, is stating what results you'd like to have and the help
to get them, while you give help to others on the results they want.
"I want to see Indy, you?"
In our first scenario, both people were assertive.
Gold star awarded, nothing more needed to be said and done.
But let's get to the nittier and grittier....
It is indeed true that most people confuse being assertive with being aggressive.
In order to understand the difference...
Here are the definitions as described in the dictionary. You
will be learning how to assert yourself so that other people
will not deny you of your rights.
Assert: to state with assurance, confidence, or force; state
strongly or positively; affirm. Insist on having one's opinions
and rights recognized.
Aggressive: ready to attack or oppose; quarrelsome. (and that's
just the first part...it gets uglier...like attacking...and so forth.)
As you can see, there is a canyon sized difference. They are on two
different planes of behavior.
Read about persuasive ways to be assertive...
Continue: Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
Kevin Hogan
Network 3000 Publishing
3432 Denmark #108
Eagan, MN 55123
(612) 616-0732
