Overcoming Hostility, Criticism and Contempt in Your Relationships
Quick Definitions then getting the answers YOU want and NEED.
Criticism: Attacking someone's personality or character, usually with blame, instead of IDENTIFYING a specific behavior.
Hostility: To be antagonistic toward someone as if they are an enemy.
Contempt: Disapproval tinged with disgust. Communication that is intended to insult or show disdain for another who is considered vile or worthless.
Contempt and hostility are fueled by thoughts of the other person's incompetence or disgust. They are disgusting. You think they are stupid. How do you show this? And how are YOU the victim when it happens to you?
Contempt Breeds Contempt
"You're a jerk."
"You're a b_tch."
"You're a b_stard."
"You're an idiot."
"You're a fool."
"You are incompetent."
Roll your eyes when they say something.
Sigh heavily while they are communicating something to you.
Turn your back on them while they are talking.
Walk away from them while they are talking.
- Covert Insults and Humiliations Designed to Cause Real Pain In Others
"Even Andy could get that one right."
"If you really loved me, you'd lift a finger to help around the house."
"You don't even care about your kids."
"You were never there when we really needed you."
"Any kindergartner could figure that out, you moron."
"You have serious psychological problems."
It's true that contempt breeds contempt. Remember the last time you were involved in one of these?
"What the hell are you doing?"
"You told me to clean my room!"
"I told you to get the living room cleaned up because we have company coming, THEN to clean your room."
"What's the difference Mom, no one is coming for TWO hours?"
"That's it. You have no respect. You are grounded."
He looks at her in disbelief. Sits on his bed. Stares at her.
"What are you looking at?"
"Nothing. You're crazy."
"You will not speak to your Mother that way. You are grounded for one month! Now get this place clean. NOW!"
What happened here?
The son was cleaning his room. He probably should have been cleaning the living room first to prepare for company but he probably didn't know why he should be cleaning the living room first.
Deep inside, the son felt put out that he had to clean his room and the living room. He didn't mess up the living room after all. His toddling sister did. He doesn't even go near the living room.
Deep inside, Mom felt like she was in a pressure cooker. Company coming in two hours and she has four hours of work to do. And this isn't just any company this is hubby's new client. A big one. The house has to be perfect. Tonight the pressure is on to make a really positive impression.
This is an example of how most people communicate all day long. Here is the next morning at work...
"Why aren't you working on the Johnson account?"
"You told me to get the numbers for the Friedman account and the Johnson account updated today."
"I told you that Johnson is going to be here in TWO hours. Get her account done THEN do the Friedman account. Does any of this make sense to you?"
"Both sets of numbers will be on your desk in the next hour."
"I want the Johnson numbers NOW."
"Fine." (She drops the Friedman file. Grabs the Johnson file and returns to her desk.) "Is there anything else?"
"No. Just get that file to me ASAP."
Deep inside, the office worker is feeling hurt and angry. She doesn't feel trusted. She doesn't feel as if her boss understands her competency level. She is angry that her boss felt it necessary to make a scene over NOTHING in front of the staff. The boss once again made her look bad for no reason. The file would have been done with no problem...and no time delay.
Deep inside, the boss felt that once again people just don't get it. The top priority item gets second billing. What if there was an emergency or a problem and there wasn't time to get the Johnson file done? Why don't people do things in the order that make sense? This woman is as stupid as her son...except he's 12 and has an excuse. Why does she keep this worker on? Probably because MOST of the time she does a good job, but THIS is just ridiculous.
The office worker goes home. She thinks all the way home that her boss is such a bitch.
"She really thinks I'm an idiot," she mutters over the steering wheel. I hate her. I am going to quit. I will not put up with this insanity any longer. I can't handle it. She always is on me. Why doesn't she just let me work and do my job?
She pulls in the driveway. Husband is home.
"Hope he had a good day," she says again over the steering wheel. She goes in. They hug, kiss, sit down and say hello for a minute.
"How was your day?"
"Oh, it was O.K. I'm sick of that witch though."
"Did she say something again?"
"Yes, she was sticking her nose in my business again."
"You know, next time she does that you should just tell her to leave and let you get your work done."
"It's not quite that easy. She is the boss ya' know."
"I know that but that doesn't give her a right to be so overbearing. Tell her that you are good at what you do and that you don't need her meddling."
"She's so in your face, very intimidating...kind of like you honey...now that I think of it...) and I don't want to push the wrong button and lose my job."
"Geez', they can't fire you for doing your job and saying how you feel. Don't let her push you around."
"I'll take care of it." (I have no idea how but I don't want to talk about this anymore. Now I feel incompetent here too!)
"Good, if you don't let it fester you can have it taken care of tomorrow and never deal with it again."
"That's easy to say, you are the supervisor at your office. I'm just a peon."
"I respect people who speak their mind as long as they are respectful."
"She doesn't respect anyone but herself. She is not you."
"I know. I just hate to see you pushed around."
"I can handle myself." (No I can't. Why do I say things like that?)
"OK honey. Keep me posted." (I'm not going to make her feel bad by continuing this.)
Solutions for Contempt and Hostility
Hostility is attacking someone with the intent to do verbal harm. Some people simply fly off the handle and criticize people. As we talked about earlier, that has to be stopped. Others will complain about behaviors that their partners do. That isn't so bad in the long run though it isn't exactly a recipe for happiness. What is among the worst offending sins that is detrimental to the soul is communication with the intent to harm whether in public or private.
If you or your partner are intentionally communicating with the intent to harm you must stop immediately. Hostility is something that no soul should be involved in. There is no benefit to hostility for anyone. The desire to harm others through communication is a sign of serious relationship problems that need to be corrected as soon as possible.
If your partner is intentionally communicating with you in a hostile manner you need to gently share this information with him at the first reasonable moment. The partner should be allowed to communicate his feelings about the reason for his hostility and then move to a solution.
The solution is not the silent treatment but increased communication.
However, as you deal with the specific issue of hostility do not bring up all the relationship problems of the past. This only gives cause to do the exact opposite of your goal.
What model of communication would you propose? Propose it. Get agreement if appropriate and start communicating with the intention to make each other feel good about each other. The exercises on the coming pages will help you rebuild a relationship that was on treacherous ground.
Re-Creating Love and Caring in Relationships
Will the relationship end or will love be re-created? If it's time to start over do so now. The following plan for re-creating your relationship will be of great help. Here's how:
Design a completely safe environment in which you and your partner may communicate.
If you have been hurting your partner, change your behavior. Changing your emotions will happen later, but change your behavior now! Your partner was hit as a child. If you tend to blow up at your loved one, stop now. They were yelled at as a child. If you get up and leave when you are angry, stop it now. They were abandoned as a child and you're acting just like the parent.
Think carefully about these examples before moving on to number two. Create an atmosphere where it is safe to talk and communicate. Promise each other that this is a time to listen and not judge, evaluate or point fingers. Create an atmosphere where you can experience positive communication.
Describe three things that you can implement in your marriage today to create a safe environment for yourself and your partner to communicate in.
Stop all criticism immediately!
There is no such thing as constructive criticism to the parts of the unconscious mind that are attempting to finish their childhood!
Create sessions of healing acceptance.
Healing acceptance sessions occur when you and your partner sit down and talk just as if you had been hit by a car in an accident. You want to find out if the other person is all right and see what you can do for them. You need to tell your partner that you want him to acknowledge what you are about to tell him without rebuttal or explanation on his part. No defensiveness is necessary. You are simply telling him that you are wounded and that it hurts. You will not blame him. You will use statements like, "I feel..." and "I hurt..." He should say, "I understand," and "What else do you want to tell me?" "Go on." "OK." Those four statements and questions are the sum of what the non-injured partner will say.
It is vitally important to never attack your partner during these "healing acceptance" sessions. Keep it open and loving and then your relationship will be on it's way forward!
Perform random acts of kindness for your partner.
Bring a card or gift home after work. A small and inexpensive gift shows your thoughtfulness and can do wonders for your relationship in a big way. Notice the key word is "random". It means unpredictable. Be unpredictable with your times of giving.
Do something that you normally don't do around the house. If you never do the dishes, do them one night. If you never cut the lawn, cut it. The unexpected can be very pleasant and very appreciated.
Return to a successful dating ritual you liked.
Was there something special you did while you were dating? Do it now.
Express your love and feelings for your partner with hugs, kisses and verbal affirmations of love, often.
Most people need to be hugged and kissed. Leo Buscaglia used to prescribe at least a dozen hugs per day for the maintenance of a relationship. Saying, "I love you," may get old after 30,000 recitations but you never hear of anyone complaining that their partner tells them that they love them too often!
Discover their needs and wants while sharing yours.
For you to have a wonderful relationship discover what your partner currently loves about your relationship. Then ask your partner what he thinks could improve your relationship. Ask your partner the questions below, in the Successful Relationship Elicitation exercise. (Don't do this all in one sitting!)
This exercise will help you discover what is important to your partner and will help you transform your relationship.
Successful Relationship Elicitation
The following questions are to be used as discovery tools for you and your partner to learn more about each other and deepen your bond. Use these questions as tools to gently start to help you and your partner "peel each other's onions." The first questions will help you and your partner build resources for which you can refer to in tough times. Later questions help discover weaknesses and areas that can use change or improvement. Spend about 20 minutes for each partner with these questions, over several days.
All of these questions allow us to discover more about our partner in a couple of hours than we may have discovered in years. Questions are an under-used element of communication in our culture. Beginning to ask gentle questions will put you on the track to improving communication and thereby improving your relationship no matter how good or bad it already is.
- What is the best thing about our relationship?
- What is the next best thing about our relationship?
- What else?
- What do you believe you should learn about me to improve our relationship?
- What do you think I should learn about you to improve our relationship?
- What are two things I do that annoy you?
- What are two things you do, that you think annoy me?
- How happy are you with our sex life?
- What can I do to make our sex life more intoxicating?
- What would you be willing to do to make our sex life more intoxicating?
- When we argue from now on, should we agree to kiss and make up before the argument gets out of hand?
- What will our "cue" be for this to happen?
- What do you do around the house that you think I don't appreciate?
- What do you do at work that you think I don't appreciate?
- What do I do that you probably don't appreciate as much as you could?
- What do you want to know about my past that I haven't told you?
- What do you want me to know about your past that you haven't told me?
- When should I be jealous?
- When do you think you should be jealous?
- How can we go from having a good relationship to having a fantastic relationship?
Learning what is important to your partner and being certain your partner understands what you need and want makes having a good relationship much easier. You take the guess work out of knowing what helps the other person feel more at ease with you.
My favorite place for people to begin in identifying hostility, contempt, criticism before it is verbalized is of course by observing and decoding the body language of others. This might be a good place for you to begin valuable study.
"Read & Interpret Body Language Like The Body Language Expert"
Read Body Language with the Expert who Shares Presidential Election Info and Hard-To-Decode Celebrities!
Kevin Hogan, Psy.D., Body Language Expert
Reading body language gives you insights into whether or not someone is telling the truth? True or False?
Would you like to know whether someone likes you or not, even before they say a word?
Would you like to know why Donald Trump will be the Republican Nominee for President? It's ONLY because of what you read in his nonverbal communication.
Are you curious why Hillary Clinton will gain the Democratic nomination for President even though her persona compares negatively to Bernie Sanders?
Do you want
to know anyone's thoughts and feelings by capturing their body language?
Do you want
to subsconsciously influence anyone... without even saying a single word?
If you answered
"yes" to any of the questions above, then this could be the
most crucial message you'll ever read in your life. Here's why.
In just a
few minutes from now, you could have the unique ability to easily read
and interpret body language cues of anyone.
you could almost instantly know if they're being honest or deceitful... if they
like you or not... or whatever they might be thinking or feeling at the
moment - simply by observing their actions and movements! Amazing,
nonverbal communication makes up between 60 to 75% of the impact of a message,
you could subtly use body language to become tremendously
successful... in your career, business, relationships, love life, and
anything else that involves interacting or communicating with people.
understanding nonverbal communication sounds unbelievable,
let me assure you that it is based on sound scientific research and studies.
It has been tested and proven to work; nothing is left to chance.
In this webpage,
you'll discover some useful facts and techniques about reading body language that
you can start applying immediately to your own situations. I'll also share
with you - for free - my analysis of famous politicians
and celebrities, using photographs the media has asked me to analyze.
make sure you read every word of this letter, because the secrets that can catapult you to the top of the success ladder is written
here. I believe you'll find the information in this webpage very helpful
and applicable to many aspects of your life.
It's Critical to Know What They are Thinking
say could often be very different from what they're thinking or feeling.
It's very easy to say something untrue or insincere, so we can never rely
on words alone.
there's a proven way to accurately see people's thoughts, emotions
or mood - and that's by reading their body language. People may lie, but
their body silently and unconsciously speaks the truth.
right knowledge in body language allows you to uncover what your friends,
co-workers, spouse, customers or anyone else, may be hiding from you.
You might even understand other people's thoughts or feelings better than
it. Even if you trust someone with your life, you'll never have peace
of mind unless you know exactly what they're feeling or thinking inside.
effective way to uncover hidden desires, thoughts, or emotions is by reading
and interpreting hidden messages correctly.
signals can also influence what other people may think or
feel about you. If you do it right, you will be liked and trusted. But
if you send the wrong signals (even if you're unaware of it) - your business,
career, relationships, and even self-esteem may suffer.
if you have a habit of touching your nose, people could perceive that
as a sign of deception. You might simply have that habit even if you're
telling the truth, but people can't tell the difference. They are unconsciously
interpreting your gesture as untrustworthy and judging you based on your
Why go through
the trouble of being misinterpreted when you can avoid it? Understanding
the meaning and uses of specific body gestures will allow you to change
your approach and act only in ways that will result in maximum compliance.
how much sales you're losing if your body language communicates mistrust
or offends your clients... without you being aware of it! But if you know
how to use nonverbals, you will be able to avoid sales pitfalls and
convey signals that make your customers say "yes!"
is not only applicable in sales or business. You could also miss out on
that important date or job opportunity... only because your body language
is unconsciously sending negative signals. You don't want that to happen,
if you want to skyrocket your sales... if you want to have a successful
business or career... if you want to be successful in dating, your social
life or relationships... as long as you communicate and interact with
people regularly, then learning nonverbal communication is a key component of your
By the way,
I understand that sometimes you might be feeling down. But that doesn't
mean other people should know, especially if your present mood could ruin
a lifelong career or relationship. By knowing and using the right body
language, you could purposely act in ways that will be appropriate to
you know? Men and women behave and respond to movements
in different ways. So it's crucial for you to suit your nonverbal communication
depending on the gender of the person you meet, or you could damage a
relationship or business without even knowing it.
If you think
having this ability is mind blowing, you haven't scratched the surface
yet. When you recognize the true meaning of people's gestures and movements
(which could often be very different from what they say), your life changes
in a lot of positive ways.
Can Nonverbal Communication Greatly Enhance Your Life?
ability to decode body language can have astonishing effects in almost
every aspect of your life. By correctly seeing nonverbal communication and using the right
gestures, you'll be able to:
a lot of time by dealing only with the people you like or trust. You'll quickly know the mood or personality of
anyone... before they even say anything!
a human lie detector.
Almost anyone tells lies at one point or another, so it's crucial for
you to detect deception. Even people very close to us like our spouse,
friends, or kids can sometimes lie... whether it's a white lie or something
that could hurt us. If you never wanted to be cheated or tricked again,
then this is the solution.
and date with someone who has the qualities you like. Know beforehand
if your date is attracted to you or likes you, and then use the right
attraction techniques to impress and captivate them!
your career and relationships. Now you can make your boss, co-employees,
and even strangers to like you through subtle movements. You'll
be astonished at how easy it is to get a raise or promotion.
your sales and sell to prospects who have the highest chances of buying
from you. Detect in advance if you can negotiate a better price on a
deal, and raise your chances of winning negotiations.
your self-confidence and be in control of any situation whenever you're
interacting with people. Connect with total strangers and get people
to cooperate with you... in no time flat!
a dazzling first impression, and instantly get liked or trusted on your
- Be a master
communicator. Most of the time, words are not enough. Your communication
will be much more effective and understood almost immediately.
the job interview. Know how to properly express the ambience of
confidence and competence, and get a keen sense of how the interviewer
is evaluating you.
the costly hassles of hiring the wrong people. If you're the interviewer,
you'd easily spot the most capable applicant for any job!
people's minds and emotions. With this ability, you can do things which
are only favorable to the situation and avoid any problems that may
occur. You may even impress your friends with your mind-reading abilities!
authority, liking, trust or respect using simple gestures.
an outstanding speaker. You'll know when the audience is interested
or bored, so you can adjust your speech to their present state. You
could more easily persuade and inspire them if you combine your speech
with the right gestures.
You Making These Mistakes?
you have realistically closer to 4 seconds to make a good first impression
on those you come in contact with. And this is used as a yardstick for
all future communication by those whom you meet.
In the first
four seconds, people will make judgments about you and tell themselves:
- I will
(or will not) buy from this person.
- I will
(or will not) like this person.
- I find
this person kind (or not).
- I find
this person intelligent (or not).
make a good first impression through your words alone. In
fact, nonverbal communication is between 60 to 75% of the impact of a
communication. But despite being the most important
aspect, nonverbal communication is also the most misunderstood and misinterpreted.
action - or even the smallest micro-action - communicates subconsciously
to others, so people could like (or not like) you through your gestures...
without even knowing exactly why.
could be making the most wonderful compliments or praise to people, but
it's difficult to gain their trust or approval if your words contradict
These body language photos will show you some of the basic and advanced
techniques used to interpret nonverbal communication. This girl is flirting with
you. "But her arms are crossed, that's defensive," some might say. They
are wrong. Head tilt to her left, hard time not grinning too big, while looking right at you. She likes you.
Flirting and sexual body language is something you can quickly
spot in a woman's nonverbal communication in both business
and personal contexts.
Revealing the liar is easily identified in both
business and personal context when you know how to properly interpret
the signs. I'll show you this later.
you want to learn the real nonverbal secrets of love, dating or closing the deal,
welcome! The analysis I'm going to give you as part of this preview
includes both "liking" and deception judgments. It is fairly complex to
analyze human behavior in snapshots in time.
See this guy. By looking at him, that smirk should mean he's being perceived
poorly and he's fighting for his life. But no, check out the over the
shoulder look of the first girl. Women inspect over their shoulders with
curiosity...until that split second where liking or not occurs. These
two will connect.....BELOW...I made judgments on the relationships of
the couples based solely upon these photographs and the context in which
they were taken. (This is as little as you have to go on with most media.
It IS a challenge.)
In this preview, my goal for you is to become aware of a few subtle
cues that you are going to begin picking up from now on. Instead of telling
you each little signal in a boring, clinical way, I'm going to let you
have some fun and invest just a few minutes with me.
If you look closely, you will learn a great deal today about
the nuances of nonverbal communication.
Photos appear under license agreement with PRPhotos.
What Can You Interpret About a Person's
Nonverbal Secrets From a Photograph?
Example 1 - Barack Obama.
Obama certainly is known for his striking IMAGE.
Notice the intensity on his face. That perceived strength was right for the elections.
This is an IMAGE that won
two elections, but in a different context, it's a fail. You need to know the difference.
Example 2 - Carmen Electra.
Whoa! Look at all the space between these two.
It's like they are afraid to touch one another - the other is infected with....something. Notice how they keep their most private parts as far away from each other as possible.
Considering the fact that these two split up after being "inseparable" in photos during their all too brief marriage, it seems at this point things must have been a bit shaky.
Most happy couples are a lot more giving and generous with their nonverbal communication.
Example 3 - Nonverbal communication of Nicky
Hilton with ex-boyfriend Brian Connolly.
Question: "Kevin, will these two last?"
Notice Nicky's body language. The knee
elevated against her boyfriend's right leg. Her left leg supporting
her entire body. The expressionless smile as she poses for the
One clue I always look for is, "Where
is the cell phone." Pocket or hand. Answer: Hand. No, this will
Example 4 - Tom Arnold and Shelby
Tom, one of my favorite funny guys
is holding his girlfriend so tightly, she is like the caged bird
that must fly away.
Notice you can see the white in Tom's
fingers. Check out the facial color. Observe the closeness of
his head to Shelby in contrast to where it would be if he were
This is a classic photo sequence of
"boy pleased to be with this girl." Unfortunately I had to report
the relationship would not last.
isn't it? Want more insider tips on reading body language?
Example 5 - Bruce Springsteen and
Bruce Springsteen and Patti for years were like
yin and yang. Almost all photo's of these two together before 2010 revealed
a mirror image of each other and this is no exception.
Even when they are turning their legs/feet
are the same! Then notice how similar their hands are positioned
and of course his and hers sun glasses.
There's more in the program about these
guys and this sequence of photos; but when two people mirror each
other this perfectly, they are likely to stay together longer before divorcing than an average couple.
Your Free Body Language Power Course!
this 7-day power course, you'll discover:
How personal appearance,
vocal cues, posture and physiology, and breathing can help you
and influence people.
Why people lie
and when people lie the most.
The truth on how
culture can be a determining factor when interpreting facial
The art of reading
signals in life and death situations.
exclusive interview with Kevin Hogan, on the science of
How your own body
language and nonverbal communication influences everything from
your decisions to your life.
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Why Does the Media Refer to Kevin Hogan as "The Nation's Leading
Body Language Expert?"
my name is Kevin Hogan. Most people say they known me as a body language expert.
I've authored 20 books, including "The Psychology of
Persuasion" which has sold over a million copies worldwide.
I'm an international
speaker and have given specialized training to employees of numerous Fortune
500 Companies. You may have heard of Boeing, Microsoft, Starbucks, Meespierson,
Auntie Anne's, Cargill, Pillsbury, Mutual of Omaha Carlson Companies, Fortis, Great Clips,
the State of Minnesota, 3M, The United States Postal Service and many
my research and work with all four
major television networks and the nation's largest newspapers. Other media that have asked for my help include
the New York Times, the BBC, Fox Television and dozens of popular magazines
including Redbook, Success!, Selling Power, Cosmopolitan, Woman's World,
Mademoiselle, First for Women, Psychologie and Wprost.
The media says that I'm the go
to guy for everything related to reading the nonverbal communication of a person. It's flattering.
In fact, the New York Post asked me in 1998 if US President Bill Clinton
was being truthful about whether he had a relationship with Monica Lewinsky.
I found one very specific gesture - that no one else picked
up on - indicating that he indeed... I was the first person
in the nation to make that public.
I analyzed the nonverbal communication of Hilary Clinton, Judge Ken Starr,
Starr's Staff, and numerous other figures in the news story of the year.
predicted for the BBC, the 2000 and 2004 elections when everyone else in the media
got it wrong, because I
was able to calculate how people would react to candidates nonverbal communication. With President Bush the accurate forecasts for his victories weren't because of anything he "did right," but because of what Al Gore and John Kerry unwittingly
did wrong....really wrong - with their body language.
was well aware of how American Citizens would respond and react to what they saw in the debates
and sound bites. The
nonverbal communication of Gore and Kerry was offputting to the undecided voters.
In both cases, I told the BBC, live, precisely what would happen.
I predicted for the BBC, that the US election in 2000 would be decided by less than 50,000
votes, an almost statistical impossibility. When it came down to ONE VOTE,
everyone was shocked, except those who paid attention to what I had made it public days before the
election with Bush and Gore, and then again with Kerry and Bush...and now we are watching Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders and several other Republican candidates. Want to know who the next President will be?
currently helped win a very serious double life sentence trial
by reading and decoding body language of the potential jurors..."
am a certified Image Consultant. I have applied your research
in decoding body language for coaching defendants, witness preparation,
jury selection, and profiling jurors.
information has been so beneficial to me that I currently helped
win a very serious double life sentence trial by reading
and decoding body language of the potential jurors that
I selected and reading witnesses and jurors during the week-long
public defenders were so impressed with this knowledge that
I received from you that I am now their trial consultant, thanks
Susan Constantine-Kane, Orlando, FL
If You Can Learn to be a Master?
Once "armed" with the insights you're going to learn shortly, you have an overpowering edge in life. In fact, I
never would have accomplished what I have, had I not learned nonverbal communication in depth. It's certainly a key component to the success I've experienced.
People refer to my ability
to instantly recognize hesitation, liking, deception and honesty, and that has become something I consider critical that I teach to others. If
me the video of someone today and a video of that same person prior to
some terrible event (a crime for example), I can often tell if that person is
innocent or guilty with significant accuracy. I'll show you how.
also able to send covert messages (through movements and gestures)
that generate liking from other people that almost no one knows how to
do. I'll show you how to do this as well.
you have the opportunity to discover my deepest secrets so you can use
it to be tremendously successful in life.
tell you all these "accomplishments," only to share with you that I've taught thousands of others and I will show you how to use this skill set to achieve great
results in life.
I feel fortunate that I've gained the trust and respect of the
most reputable people and media outlets in the world.
you can leverage that knowledge and years of experience to have the skills of a specialist
in nonverbal communication... in almost no time flat!
educated to know what really works. I have personally gone through 20 years of
meticulous scientific research, studies, and practice.
So if you
want to shave many years off your learning curve, start on the right track
and have the ability to uncover hidden messages like a true expert, then
you can count on me to give you the best step-by-step training towards
was recently awarded the annual Employee of the Year award
with over 50% of the votes..."
I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for your part
in changing the direction and fortunes of my career.
been a fairly successful salesman for only 2 years, I was
invited by the company to come off the road and take on a
development/training role for the very new sales team. I accepted
the offer knowing I needed to do some quick study in the world
the other books recommended to me contained the standard closes
known to every man and his dog. That's when I...came across
found your Science of Influence Series, Body Language Study
Course and Covert Hypnosis to be truly spectacular. And to
prove it, I was recently awarded the annual Employee of the
Year award with over 50% of the votes! I
work for one of the UK's fastest growing companies, now recognized
as the most prolific selling organization in the telecom industry.
I owe an enormous amount of gratitude to you for the quality
and consistency of the material you produce. I truly hope
to thank you in person one day but for now...Thank you!"
Gary May, Hampshire, UK, www.garymay.co.uk
Body Language Home Study Course
you want to get the same training as my seminar attendees
at the comfort and privacy of your own home - at a tiny fraction of
they are paying- then you'll be quite pleased with
the Complete Body Language Home Study course on CD/DVD and online.
program has been designed to teach you how to understand and use nonverbal communication
quickly and correctly. In most cases, you can read the REAL signs of liking,
disliking, honesty or deception... in less than 10 seconds, with
designed for the benefit of both business and personal relationships.
Why? Because the nonconscious mind, which directs almost all nonverbal communication,
doesn't know if you are at the office or in the kitchen. It just reacts.
converted the scientific aspects of nonverbal communication into a foolproof system
that even a 12-year old can understand. In
this program, I'll walk you step-by-step through
the entire process. I'll teach you all the key secrets of nonverbal communication
to skyrocket your sales, get your dream date, enjoy satisfying relationships,
and be successful in your daily interactions with people.
reveal to you how to determine whether someone likes you or not.
I'll show you how to read with precision whether they are leaning
towards a "yes" or a "no." Like any skill, it simply takes a little
time investment to learn.
The payoff? Enormous. Being able to control every situation you are
this course, we'll analyze over 100 candid photos of celebrity couples
in different settings. From the tilt of the head to where the the feet
are pointed, you'll know exactly what they're thinking or feeling.
celebrity photos is
the best way to learn because these people are difficult to read (They
play roles that appeal to the public and are always "on").
But just like what you have already learned to see, the little cues
tell quite a story - the story that the nonconscious is revealing,
but the conscious mind is not.
In 2009 it was recorded that I was correct 46 out of 48 times in interpreting
the nonverbal communicaiton of Hollywood couples, as to whether they will break
up or not within the next two years. No one has ever achieved that feat.
Remember that these people are difficult because they
"act out" to seek public approval.
addition to the photos, you also get to watch live footage of me...
teaching and demonstrating the correct movements and gestures in
face-to-face situations with the help of Beth Bednar, former NBC affiliate
show you what to REALLY look for, not what all the
pop psychology books talk about. I guarantee that after you finish
this course and use what you learn, you'll find that your new skill has become
as automatic as your instinct.
Nonverbal communication gives you a leg up in sales and negotiating..."
I just wanted to thank you for taking the time and answering
my question. I also wanted to thank you for putting out some
kick a*! products.
a person who makes a living from persuading people to buy my
products the information
is amazing, and the Body Language set can give you a leg
up in sales and negotiating."
Scott S. Bell, Sacramento, CA
Learn Body Language Secrets That Most People Will Never Know!
people don't have any clue how to see deception. It's sad.
They are being lied to and are completely unaware. They don't know how to
respond because they're uncertain how others feel about them. They're
missing out on huge opportunities because they don't know how to act in
ways that will gain admiration or trust from people.
you can stand out from everyone else! Because in just a few minutes
from now, you could be unleashing the power of hidden influence with the
help of the home study course.
just some of the things you'll discover:
- How to
enhance your face value.
to sit to grab your client's undivided attention and persuade them better.
- How to
know if someone is interested at you, or likes you, through their eyes.
to build rapport and create feelings of arousal using your eyes.
- How to
be seen as being physically attractive. Research indicates that marriage and dating,
career advancement, and even judgement on smartness are based largely
on physical attractiveness.
to look gorgeous and make more money. Studies of successful people indicate
that they've added $100K to $200K to their annual income after they
changed their look!
- 20 powerful
tips to look perfect for your client. Exceptional advice on how to dress,
wedding ring, fingernails, eyeglasses, weight, beard, make-up, teeth,
hair length, shoes, jewelry, etc. Each element adds up to make you a
sight to behold!
to be perceived as more attractive and smarter using one very simple,
yet often overlooked principle.
- 10 keys
to shaking hands to get people to like and trust you.
points to make a great impression. Remember that you have closer to
4 seconds to make a good first impression, and this is used as a yardstick
for all future communication by those whom you meet.
How elections are won and lost based mostly on body language.
to use body language to achieve astounding results in sales, dating
- The right
distance and positions when communicating to ensure maximum compliance
and not invade personal space.
to be in total control of any situation!
- How to
communicate clearly and with sufficient volume, without shouting.
to decode happiness, surprise, disgust, fear, anger, and sadness through
- Key rules
in seating location for maximum compliance.
to use your eyes to make any man or woman disclose or open up to you.
Note: Using this eye technique will produce completely different results
to a male than to a female.
- How to
accurately interpret and make effective eye contact.
to understand and decode the meaning of different eye behaviors.
- How to
use your eyes to look and send the right message, at the right time,
to make yourself look more attractive to people.
to look into your client's eyes and instantly know whether they like
you or not!
- How to
know if a person is excited, frightened, attentive, aroused, or turned
on by looking into their eyes.
language that turns the opposite sex on and ignites their passion.
- What to
do and NOT to do with your face, hands, and feet! Even the slightest
mistake could mean the difference between getting what you want or not.
ways to know if someone is lying through their eyes and other body parts.
- How I
knew that Bill Clinton had sexual relationship with Monica Lewinsky.
to make your client fall in love with you even before you say a single
- How to
get the response you want by exhibiting the appropriate
to make impressive presentations to groups that get predictably excellent results.
- How to
use your hand and head gestures to emphasize points.
posture can make you appear relaxed or tensed.
and necessary keys of nonverbal communication.
expert analysis of over 100 celebrity photos! If you can analyze the
nonverbal communication of celebrities (one of the most hard-to-read people on
earth), then analyzing the unseen messages of everyone else is easy.
- And many
Included In This Complete Body Language Course?
Here's what's included in this Complete Body Language Home Study
CD 1 - The Secret Code to Communication: Make
A Dazzling Impression
CD 2 - The Secret Code to Communication: Use Your
Body to Seal the Deal, Make the Sale, and Have Them Fall for You
CD's 3 to 8 - Interactive Program: Decoding and
Interpreting Body Language. This is where you and I go step by step through the analysis of celebrities I've been interviewed about and uncover the true emotions behind those
candid shots and poses in front of the camera. Nuance by nuance,
we'll analyze the small lines, wrinkles, facial expressions, hand
and body placements.
DVD 1 - Live video footage of Kevin Hogan, teaching
you the most critical secrets to reading, interpreting and using
nonverbal communication. It's like attending one of my $25,000 seminars,
but at the comfort and privacy of your own home! Plus, you can
watch me over and over until you've mastered my body language
DVD 2 - Live video footage of Kevin Hogan illustrating
(with the help of Beth Bednar, former NBC affiliate anchorwoman)
the exact body movements, angles and positions in face-to-face
settings to get the sale, be liked and trusted, and many more!
DVD on Deception Detection - a special collection
of old videos which I used to help the BBC, New York Times and
everyone else know what the people on the video are thinking (includes
footage of Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Ken Starr, and more).
You'll find this program particularly fascinating.
- This is a password-protected site where the photos of celebrities
to be analyzed are located. You will access this page while listening
to CD's 3 to 8.
125-page Manual on CD in pdf form - This e-book reveals
the most powerful body language secrets for decoding, interpreting,
and mastering nonverbal communication and people skills.
Successful Communicator Body Language Evaluator - Use this
guide to observe others or grade yourself in any given situation.
It contains a comprehensive list of body language movements, specifying
those that are desirable and necessary and those
that are undesirable and should be avoided at all costs.
27 Body Language Tips on a Handy Wallet Card - Put this
on your wallet and use it as a handy reference to make a great impression,
whether you're going to an important meeting or just plain socializing.
Body Language A Bunch of Hype?
people think learning is too complicated - that
it's difficult to know what anyone is thinking or feeling
through their body movements. As you can vouch from the photo
samples above, it only takes the right knowledge from someone who does this every day.
are wondering why almost everything they've read about body language
doesn't work. I can't blame them.
so-called experts who lack experience have sprung
up. They are flying by the seat of their pants and are simply guessing...
and often guessing wrong (from my own personal observation).
today's world, you can't afford to be wrong or you'll waste a lot
of your time, effort and money. And it could hurt you in
You will not spend a second on what pop psychology has put out there.
The self-proclaimed body language teachers
have said all kinds of things that are not only incorrect they make no sense. Things like: crossing of arms means defensive
posture; nodding means they're agreeing with you; or smiling is
a good sign of liking. These are all nonsense. They will not work
because they are not supported in real life situations.
here to reveal genuine techniques of nonverbal communication, based on 20 (oh man) years of scientific studies and solid experience.
Once you have the ability to decode the actual feelings or thoughts
behind body gestures and movements, you will attain a sixth sense
that can create dramatic improvements in your life! You'll know
people's mood or state simply by looking at them. You'll wonder
how you're able to live all this time, without having this vital
skill in your communication arsenal.
Convinced, Kevin... This is the Best Body Language Course on the Planet.
How Much Is It?
benefits you'll be getting from this course, you'd probably be
expecting to invest thousands of dollars. After all, I charge $25,000.00
for day long seminar events, and $20,000.00 for half day events around
the world, teaching the same techniques you'll discover from my Body Language
Home Study Program.
if just a small portion of the course could cause almost anyone to like you instantly, isn't that easily worth at
least $3,000? That's a small investment compared to the tens (or hundreds)
of thousands of extra dollars you will make using my techniques, not to
mention all the people who will instantly like and admire you.
people and companies have paid me sizably, over and over again, just to
share what you are about to learn. Now I want to help as many people
as I can. That's why I've decided to give this breakthrough
course away for only $697!
reveals ALL the key secrets of nonverbal communication you need to know... for a
tiny fraction of my seminar's cost per hour!
But I got
feedback from a number of interested people that they still can't afford
it. So in my quest to help more people, the opportunity is here. Invest in the Body Language Home Study Course today.
, you can secure your copy at the rockbottom price of only
that the price could increase at any time. If I begin to realize that
charging a higher price (in exchange for the tremendous value you're getting)
is more than fair, then I won't hesitate to do that. But if you order
now, your investment is guaranteed to be only $297.
Am I Offering This Valuable Program For Much Less Than Its Worth?
that if I get enough people to see what others are thinking or feeling
(through their body language), it breaks down a lot of barriers and makes
communication better, more efficient, and more honest. This will cause
people to have higher integrity, so I get to make the world a better place
in my own little way.
is that I enjoy reading "thank you" letters from people who
have increased their sales regularly. That makes me feel good.
fun and fascinating to show people how they can be charismatic, and be
well received by others. It's a win-win situation for both of us.
$297, you can be as good as anyone who
is doing it professionally. And you don't even have to leave the comfort
and privacy of your own home.
can listen to the CD's and watch the DVD's as many times as you want until
you master nonverbal communication (unlike in a seminar
where you get bombarded with information, that you forget most of them
when you get home).
I only get paid a very tiny fraction of what you'll actually be earning
when you use my body language techniques, not to mention the vast improvements
you'll experience in every aspect of your life.
So it only
makes sense to get
it now to avail of the huge discount and to start benefiting from
this information. The longer you delay, the more money you lose, and the
more opportunities you waste.
Can I Guarantee Your Full Satisfaction?
you're not 100% thrilled with anything about the course, you may return
the package to us within 60 days after your purchase and get a full refund.
If it didn't do exactly what I told you, then I don't want your money.
It's only fair that you get what you paid for. (In this case, you get
far more value than your investment.)
that's not all...
you decide to keep the package, you'll have LIFETIME replacement warranty.
That means we will replace any CD or DVD if it breaks or gets lost...
for life! We'll even mail it to you at our expense, so you don't have
to pay any shipping cost for the new replacement.
Good to hear?
the way, have I told you we have one of the fastest delivery systems
in the world? We ship within a FEW HOURS (not days) of an order.
delivery of products is FAST, incredibly FAST..."
have just ordered my second CD set from you. I know you have
heard this before - the delivery of products is FAST, incredibly
have received notification and delivery of your products faster
than any other product I have ordered in my life! Thanks for
the wonderful products and service."
Carol Shireena Sakai, www.carolsakai.com
service is exceptional..."
service is exceptional. The quality of your service made me
enjoy spending money with you."
Fred Frego, MountainView, AR
Become a Body Language Master
tell me... how much have you invested in improving yourself for the last
few years? Maybe you've tried one product after another, searching for
the one true formula for overall success, but you haven't found it yet.
you been burned by so-called gurus who look credible, but don't actually
know what they're talking about?
time to learn from a REAL master of body language who walks the talk.
This is not to brag, but to tell you the truth. And the truth is that
few people can read and use body language as well as I do.
read my bio above, you've already seen the long list of Fortune 500 companies,
major TV networks and magazines, international media, and famous people
who have relied on me for body language advice.
But you don't
even have to take my word for it. Simply search the internet for my name
and see what other people and companies have said about me.
In just a
few minutes from now, you could have the ability to explode your sales,
attract the opposite sex, get liked by everyone, and know the truth behind
people's gestures and actions. Or you could stay where you are now...
wasting the amazing opportunities that becoming a body language master
has to offer. The decision is yours.
you want to get the best possible training in the area of body language,
right? And you can finally get it for a tiny fraction of what most people
are paying. Grab
this opportunity now before the price increases.
the very best of success,
Remember that this special offer may end anytime soon. My Body Language
Home Study Course gives you the highest quality, step-by-step training
in the art of reading, interpreting, and mastering body language. You
have our 60 days, 100% money-back guarantee to fully check it out and
make sure it's right for you. If you don't like it for any reason at all,
simply return it to us and get a complete, hassle-free refund.
You get the complete package - 8 CD's, 3 DVD's, 125 page manual on CD,
body language evaluator, wallet card, and a huge discount...
All for the rockbottom price of only $297! Keep in mind that you
get the same training as the ones I give at my $25,000.00 a day seminar,
without any hassles or risk of information overload. You can listen to
the CD's and DVD's at your own pace.
You'll never know what type of success awaits you if you don't
give it a try. And with our iron-clad, money-back guarantee, this is simply
Get The Complete Body Language Course Now