The two women below looked mighty happy a few years ago. Look at them. Smiling. Relaxed. Both were in relationships that made you envious.
This is a two part story of a husband and wife considering the Big D.
The husband had decided to "kick the wife out," until his irritatingly logical friend came for a visit and elicited all the facts of the situation...causing a different decision to take place.
But his decision isn't the only one that matters.
A lot of women relish the defective disaster their buddies experience. A lot of other women like to be helpful in times of friends crisis. They do what they can to help fix the disasters that all friends get themselves into.
The husband, who had been instant on splitting up changed his mind with a little help from his friend. You'll peek in on that conversation next week. He had decided to split and now he has made the decision to "create a better relationship." How did he decide? With the help of his friend they framed the decision differently than the man had.
What are the steps for framing a new decision, when a decision has already been made.
First: Identify the decision that has been made, with its criteria.
("She raises her voice and gets crazy once more, she's out of here.")
Second: Step Back...Way Back, from the Current Frame.
(You need to see the entire picture of the husband, wife, family, kids, relationship, finances and future. You aren't looking at pixels making up the lower left hand corner of a big movie screen, but the entire picture with scope and magnitude.)
Third: You identify each of the real criteria that have to be weighed if a decision is to be made.
Fourth: Before teasing out what is most important in making the decision, simply list ALL the factors and don't get hung up on ANYTHING good or bad or how important it is. Just pros and cons. Once you've written it down, MOVE ON.
Fifth: Move away from any emotions, positive or negative, while viewing the entire picture. Emotions, positive or negative - skew rational thinking away from smart decisions.
And now to the ladies having lunch.
This week, our story opens up at a friend of the wife's home. They are sipping tea. (I wonder what kind of tea...)
"He is such a jerk. I can't believe how he treats me. There is no respect. He sits there on the couch and does nothing while I cook dinner and slave away for him..... I thought slavery was outlawed...I'm so..... angry. I'm going to take the kids and leave him. Get rid of his attitude and everything...forever."
Her girlfriend nods, obviously understanding the pitfalls of the male species being married to one of the monkeys herself...
Is the friend about to sabotage her GF or is she going to play it smart?
And what the hell are THEY up to?: Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |