Covert Influence in Your Life
(Part 1 of a multi-part series)
Today begins the four part series that a lot of you guys
have been asking about.
Influence Without Resistance
You hate trying to convince people by fighting. You don't like to
argue or even ponder using "strong arm tactics" when attempting
to influence others.
You simply want people to say, "yes" or otherwise do what they need to do.
There's a lot of people out there who make a living by bashing
their customers over their heads by "overcoming objections"
or pushing for a "close."
I guess that's fine but there are a lot of people who teach other
people to do that.
What that means is that nothing is going to change in how people perceive the sales and marketing professions. The very real perception of high pressure which is generally perceived as rude or desperate. Both are fair characterizations.
I was at an event last year and watched a guy "pitch"
Nothing wrong with "pitching." You should and you have to sell your work and yourself. But the entire presentation was
It nauseated me. The people in the audience paid a couple thousand to be there. It was a small event but nevertheless everyone's entitled to a good show if you are spending that kind of money. Fortunately I spoke last and that left a better taste in the audience's mouth.
I guess the people in the audience did learn one thing...how it felt when they were being pitched for 105 minutes. I suspect none of them will ever inflict that kind of pain on another human.
Core Principles of Influence
I have two personal core principles in influencing, selling, and in marketing.
1) Give the Person a Great Experience. Create or represent products that are top of the line, a great
value, life changing. Give the customer a great experience, in short, that
gives the customer what they bargained for and then some.
Then present that item in such a way that is compelling. One
minute, one hour, one day. Whatever it takes is whatever it requires.
i.e. This is a Lexus, you came to the dealership to buy a new
car, you have the money, you say you want the best for the
money and that is this one over here. If I'm selling for Lexus,
my job is to specifically detail why this is
their best choice and in their best interest and let them buy
and get on with it.
I don't like dinking around.
The longer people hem and haw the more REGRET they experience
Let people say, "yes," NOW. It's in your best interest and it is in their best interest. The only place you can't do this is online or in direct mail where you really have to work quite hard to gain trust and build a relationship.
2) Make This a Long-Term Relationship with Their Best Interests in Mind. Once number one has been accomplished, then number two
I don't waste my time or the client's time in
some kind of mental tug of war. I don't fight clients, I work with
I might (metaphorically) smack them silly if they are about to do
something that is not in their best interests.
I might tell them they are idiot if I have come to like them.
I might point and say, "Get that Lexus. Best for your situation."
But I won't argue. I won't debate.
I would win a debate.
That is my training.
But winning debates with people isn't necessarily a good thing when you are in a relationship with that person!
I'm not going to be involved in a relationship with
someone where THEY LOSE.
If I'm going to have beat the other person, or "win," to "get them to say, yes" then I'm not interested.
Most sales trainers, most people who teach sales skills use
devastating "models" of communication that do NOT engender
long-term relationships, trust and good will.
The underlying thinking process is that these are one time sales
that don't repeat in the future so close, close, close, close.
I refuse to play in the ball park where someone will lose.
Because when someone loses...the loss spreads far beyond that
"Kevin I'm deciding on coming to Influence: Boot Camp The Tenth Anniversary in March, but I don't know what to do. I've read all your stuff..."