Covert Influence of YOUR NAME in Your Life:
It helps predict your Job, who you will Marry, where you will Live and whether you will be Arrested!
Yes. Today you will see the influence of your name on all of these things...
Influence Without Resistance
I point at what needs to be done. I say, "get it done." There is no "hope" or
"wish." They know by INFERENCE that they simply are capable and competent. And they WILL succeed.
This is as honest, direct, covert as you can get. Because your mind, your body language, your demeanor and tone
provide compelling evidence they are going to succeed. It's also the highest form of expectation which yields
the highest performance.
Today we begin with the simplest and most potent aspect of covert influence: Your name.
Your name is LOADED with influence (general change-ability of perception of others and persuasion (what you will specifically ask for and do right now.)
The influential power of your name is completely covert. The people hearing your name don’t know what hit them, but they have a “feeling” about you long before they see your face or hear your voice.
Covert influence is exactly what the moniker says. “Subtle or hidden influence.” If you understand and optimize the power of covert influence you may never have to seriously ask for the sale or much of anything, ever again.
You hate trying to convince people by arguing. You don't like to
verbally inflict pain or even ponder using "strong arm tactics" when attempting
to influence others. And in general this kind of communication is rarely necessary in life.
You simply want people to say, "yes" OR simply DO what they NEED to do.
They need to lose 20 pounds... they look terrible.
They need to get a job or they will be in serious trouble.
They need to get their grades up or drop out.
They need to get their bills paid or they will go bankrupt.
Then there are transactions you take part in. Selling your product or services for example.
Hopefully you make your products and services available to people who can really take
advantage of, and profit from, what you sell. If not, I have to ask, "why not?"
There are a lot of people out there who make a living by bashing
their customers over their heads by "overcoming objections"
or pushing for a "close."
Covert is subtle, gentle, easy, and at it's extreme it is calm.
Pushing for a closed deal or overwhelming objections with answers is not covert. Pushing and closing
are inefficient. Sure, you do need to clarify certain things in communication and you
definitely need to complete the cycle of communication. But...you know what I'm talking about.
I don't much care for overwhelming closing or overcoming objections.
I'll do it
if I have to...nothing is coming to mind... but overall I'd prefer people to beat
on my door and irritate me with calls on my phone and emails in my box.
Therefore I put all my attention years ago on reducing Resistance and Reactance.
Covert influence is almost always the best way to accomplish reducing the R's.
Think about someone who was TRYING to sell you something that you really didn't need or want.
They started pushing so hard they appeared totally desperate.
That's what I don't want people to feel when they talk with you.
We all feel "desperate" in certain specific situations. It's natural and normal. But
when you are attempting to influence, desperation is deadly to your desired result.
I last felt desperation about a year ago in Italy. I was driving a Prius through the Alps. And my level of desperation
for getting "there" was overwhelming. Mountain driving there and in Switzerland was enough to cause me
to be more than edgy. I "snapped" at my co-pilot a couple of times. She was generally forgiving...
I once thought Boston was the craziest place in the world to drive. I was 100% wrong...
When people are desperate they almost always let the increased pressure they feel escape their body and flood
the environment. In selling this is referred to
as "high pressure tactics" or as "high pressure selling."
[Note: I can happily resort to pressure (be PUSHY and AUTHORITARIAN) if I am time pressed and things
are not moving along. My only fear is that I will lose my temper and say something
I might regret. The feeling on the other side is different. Instead of the other person (or people) sensing
fear and desperation they might sense bossiness and condescenion! And if we go on stage in 5 minutes...
so be it.]
Covert moves in calm and comfort. Pressure and desperation most often operate in intense negative emotions.
High pressure tactics begin in fear.
The salesperson is a afraid he won't be able to make a sale or he will not make the rent payment.
He becomes desperate and therefore he believes, he must "pitch."
Example: I was set to be the closing speaker at an L.A. event at what I thought would be a cool gig. I waited in back and watched the guy who was the second to last
speaker of the weekend, "pitch" his stuff. Famous guy. You'd know him. I'll spare him
I mean, there is nothing wrong with "pitching." You DO you have to sell your work and yourself. But the entire presentation was
a pitch. Obviously if this was a corporation and your job is to come in and make a group proposal for a plan of action then you're arguably
"pitching" the entire time. It is a very real necessity in SOME aspects of business. Even the preacher on Sunday morning is going to do similarly.
But this wasn't one of those situations.
This nauseated me. It embarassed ME.
The man was desperate.
Here's the deal... People watch you work. This is what you want them to think about YOU: DAMN that guy is AMAZING. I want whatever
At the event in L.A. they watched a 105 minute commercial.
The people in the audience paid a couple thousand to be there. It was a small event but
nevertheless everyone's entitled to a good show if you are spending that kind of money.
Fortunately, I spoke last and that left a better, rather than bitter taste, in the audience's mouth.
I guess the people in the audience did learn one thing. They found out how it felt when they were being pitched for 105 minutes.
I suspect none of them will ever inflict that kind of pain on another human.
I promise I won't if you don't. Deal?
Core Principles of Influence
I have two personal core principles in influencing, selling, and in marketing. I'd like you to consider adopting them.
1) Give the Person a Great Experience. Create or represent products that are incredibly useful, a great
value, life changing. Give the customer a great experience, in short, that
gives the customer what they bargained for and then some.
Then present that product in such a way that is compelling. One
minute, two minutes, five minutes. Whatever it takes is whatever it requires. I've never seen a product that
takes more than 30 minutes to sell and those were all infomercials.
i.e. This is a Lexus. You came to the dealership to buy a new
car. You have the money. You say you want the best for the
money and that is this one over here. If I'm selling for Lexus,
my job is to specifically detail why this is likely
their best choice and in their best interest and let them buy
and get on with it.
I don't like dinking around and YOU shouldn't either.
The longer people hem and haw (oscillate) the more REGRET they experience
Read that again.
When the salesperson or marketer sucks, they are less influential. That means
it takes longer to make a sale. That means the buyer, the customer, the client REGRETS having
It is just STUPID to use too much time in verbal communication.
Let people say, "yes," NOW.
It's in your best interest. It is in their best interest. The only place you can't do this is online marketing or in direct mail
where you really have to work quite hard to gain trust and build a relationship.
2) Make This Relationship a Long-Term Relationship with Their Best Interests in Mind.
Once number one has been accomplished, then number two
I don't waste my time or the client's time in
some kind of mental tug of war. I don't fight clients, I work with
I might (metaphorically) smack them silly if they are about to do
something that is not in their best interests.
I might point and say, "Get that Lexus. It's best for your situation."
But I won't argue. I won't debate.
I would win a debate. (Think University, not fighting with the wife over dinner.)
That is my training. I did lose a few times back in the day... but not often.
Debate is a competition. It all comes down to framing evidence in a compelling way while
ripping to shreds your opponents point of view.
Debate champs often become attorneys. They love to win and winning is profitable.
But in a lot of cases it's profitable because the other person loses.
And "winning" debates with other humans isn't necessarily a good thing when you are in a relationship with that person!
I'm not going to be involved in a relationship with
someone where THEY LOSE.
(If THEY lose, I'm going to immediately or eventually LOSE as well!)
If I'm going to have beat the other person, or "win," to "get them to say, yes" then I'm not interested.
Most sales trainers, most people who teach sales skills use
devastating "models" of communication that do NOT engender
long-term relationships, trust and good will.
The underlying thinking process is that these are one time sales
that don't repeat in the future so close, close, close, close.
I refuse to play in the ball park where someone will lose.
Because when someone loses...the loss spreads far beyond that
Here's your first quiz of the day. You're me. Someone emails you this:
"Kevin I'm deciding on coming to your next event, but I don't know what to do. I've read all your stuff...should I come?"
This is how I want you to respond...
What is the right answer?
Find out: Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
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