by Kevin Hogan
The Drive to Control
Here's the scoop. Humans have a drive to control their environment.
You and I want to be able to not only (to use a Star Trek-ism), "Seek out new life and boldly
go where no man has gone before," (or no one in the Next Generation);
but we want to have our phaser banks charged and transporters fired
up so we FEEL COMFORTABLE going out looking around and be certain
that we can make stuff happen "out there."
And, of course, if you are
pretty sure you have the odds tilted in your favor, you stand out from
the crowd and Captain Kirk and Wil Riker end up with the girl because
she wants to be with the guy who is securing THE FUTURE.
(That was a really long sentence...make a note of that...)
Important Drivers That Lead to Connection
SO IF YOU WANT TO GET THE GIRL because SHE KNOWS YOU WILL SURVIVE
and she's not so sure about the rest of these goofballs there, then
SHE needs to see that she is SAFE and as SECURE as she can be...with
[If YOU are a SHE, the same thing is true at a slightly "reduced
rate" if you flip the table...what the guy gets in the girl...deal.]
Two things matter most to men:
2) Get the Girl
Everything else in the lives of most men grows from those two points
of light. And, of course, women are not all that different because if a
female captures a male that can control his environment, she will get
#1 ipso facto.
Assure me I can have #1 and #2, and I will do almost anything.
Assure me that I am in control, and I am almost certain I can do
anything. And from the standpoint of evolution, #2 sees that the male
can #1 and says, "Even if he's a jerk, I'd rather have #1 than none."
"Nothing happens by accident."
Think about that for a moment.
When people say that, they are really saying:
"When stuff happens, someone
is in control."
Randomness vs. Control? Just how much do we have....
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