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Body Language Analysis - Decoding the Misunderstood

Kevin Hogan

Page 6

How to handle?

This is big and you can't legislate testosterone. (Geez, you actually could with medication, and scarily, there is someone in the Administration....ugh...)

Men Will Be Men

Body Language between Men and Women Heterosexual men ceasing to be men when evaluating (as in an object) women is like asking people to switch religion....just because that's the way it is. Men ceasing to evaluate and not act on the evaluation (positive or negative) only goes on for so long before the fuse runs out.

Ultimately, no matter the amount of self monitoring, men will behave as men if they are attracted to a specific woman....for better or worse...

There is, however, a benefit to the remainder of the people in the presence of the woman - his behavior will improve in general toward others in the environment!

On the personal level, if the woman finds the man unattractive (or, on the rare occasion where she finds him attractive but doesn't want his "attention") she can manage "the situation" by not smiling and not reciprocating ANY touch behaviors beyond a quick "hello" hand shake.

Body Language and The Personal Lens

Men view the world through the lens of a man.

He doesn't smile much.

He hides his feelings most of the time.

He touches people to a very minimal degree and rarely those who he doesn't like.

He uses far fewer words in the day than a woman does.

Therefore, when a woman smiles at a man, talks to a man, touches a man or expresses ANY feelings, positive or negative, verbally or nonverbally, the man observes the woman as "liking him" A LOT, and "finding him attractive."

A Woman's Counterpoint

What's a woman to do?

Women (those to whom men are typically attracted to) can simply choose to not smile at men.

And in all seriousness, you have to avoid touch, avoid standing near, avoid communication referencing feelings - though not opinions - about pretty much anything. All of these things are key liking (as in mating) signals men are perceiving.

Testosterone Drives Behavior - Verbal and Non-Verbal

Testosterone drives behavior and it drives nonverbal behavior. It inhibits smiling in men. The most common facial expression when testosterone is high is that of anger. Often that image of anger is "preparatory." It's not a choice anymore than a woman's period is her "choice." It is biology. That means when the engine is running, a facial expression of anger is predictable and any smile is significantly more likely to be "plastic."

Men, far more often than not, don't smile when the engine is running; and when their testosterone count is higher, they become "harder to read" outside of the sexual desire arena. Turning the engine "off" is very difficult. If the woman doesn't want the man's engine on, its best she discourages it starting in the first place. In fact, that is the only reliable strategy.



What if you're IN a relationship?:


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Kevin Hogan
Network 3000 Publishing
16526 W. 78th St. #138
Eden Prairie, MN 55346
(612) 616-0732

Article photo appears under license agreement with itstockphoto/David_Ahn.





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