Mastering Criticism
Kevin Hogan
Page 3
You've got to step back and first determine three things:
- Was the critic correct in their assessment?
- Did they intend to cause you pain?
- Do you care about them as a person?
Accuracy first.
Were they even close to right? Is it possible the evaluation of you or your work has any merit at all? Even a LITTLE?
If not, it's unwarranted and it isn't criticism, it's jerkism.
How Wide Has The Net Been Set?
Next we have to determine if the person was criticizing you as a person or whatever it was you "did." In other words, they might not like your painting but are they saying you are a bad artist because your painting isn't so great in their opinion...or...are they saying THIS painting isn't so hot?
People who throw wide nets are jerks, and their criticism is rarely, if ever, worth listening to.
Finally, do they truly care about you as a person and do you care about them?
We get criticized every day by people who love us, but taking it from people who don't...shouldn't hit the radar too much. It's not that the loved one's radar is more effective. In fact, loved ones tend to be biased against each other in their criticism. But the value of loved ones is worth investing in. The criticism of someone who doesn't care is not.
If the critic was correct (or close), then you will look at the painful communication as useful if not very irritating and mean spirited. (No matter how useful, the criticism will always sting. Everyone hates being told they are wrong or stupid.)
"Kevin, that wasn't your best DVD."
Internal response: Screw U. We worked endless hours putting that together and it's the best DVD on the subject you'll ever watch.
External response: "Which DVD's have you liked best and what was it about them that made them special?"
Defusing Criticism
Taking focus off a singular negative and split-screening it with an experience that was equally as positive can reduce criticism, and, unnecessary hard feelings.
When Do People Criticize?
People criticize you when one of a few things happen.
The person didn't like what you did for whatever reason and they feel compelled to tell you. Usually they make this known publicly. i.e. They are idiots.
(I have a rule: Never give a book a bad review at amazon.com. Review it or leave it be. The world needs a respite from spite.)
- Sometimes the person thinks they are teaching you something.
- Sometimes they want to feel superior to whatever it was you said.
- Sometimes they want to help you.
- Sometimes they care about you and don't want you to look bad to anyone else.
No matter the root, criticism hurts a little..., hurts a lot or it is excruciating.
I can't recall many times people came straight out with criticism and I went, "oh yeah, man do I feel better now!"
You?
That said, you NEED criticism to succeed.
Your goal is NOT to please everyone.
It's not even to please 50% of the people.
Your goal is to serve your audience. It is to be your friend's friend. It is to be your customer's servant.
OK, So Does Criticism Cause People Fail or Succeed? 
Here's the Answer...: Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
Kevin Hogan
Network 3000 Publishing
3432 Denmark #108
Eagan, MN 55123
(612) 616-0732
