7 Factors That Will Cause Them
to Want You Bad
By Kevin Hogan
Packaging and Context
1. Pick your crowd wisely.
When a man is surrounded by a group of women, he is significantly more desirable to females than if he were with his male friends. In fact, women are more likely to pursue a man when he appears unavailable. Even glances from female friends could make a male seem more attractive.
KEYPOINT: The fact is that the perception of "being taken" is evolutionarily helpful to other women making decisions about you. If they believe you are taken, you become more valuable to them. After all EVERYONE wants to play with the toy that someone ELSE is playing with.
Women, on the other hand, are viewed as less desirable when surrounded by men. To put it succinctly, I asked one attractive gal why this is. She instantly opined, "Ladies, this may seem counterintuitive, but put yourself in their shoes. Would you want to take the chance of raising another man's offspring?"
Lesson: Choose your Wing Man (who could easily be a woman) wisely...
Perception Can Be Power
2. Sense of Urgency and Uniqueness (Law of Scarcity)
From this moment forward you are time constrained and remarkably fascinating....
No one wants to get surgery done by the doctor who has an opening...tomorrow morning. If it's obvious that you are available for a limited time only, you become more interesting to almost everyone.
Invariably people want to know who you are. Every brilliant salesperson has an elevator speech that captivates attention in 10 - 45 seconds.
If I'm on the plane and I don't want the conversation, I say, "I'm a motivational speaker."
If I might want the conversation, "I'm a writer."
That should bring the request:
"What do you write?"
The Power of having someone else dig into you is difficult to describe. Once people take one scoop they usually, nonconsciously dig deeper and deeper.
People can only think about one thing at a time. If they are busy digging into you, the rest of the world begins to disappear...
"What do you write?"
I can point to the person's feet or hands or what they are wearing. I can do a fast 20 second cold reading
"I write about celebrity body language and how people get other people to do what you want them to do. Influence and Persuasion. I figure out who's lying and who's telling the truth. Magazines. Books."
Every situation is different and will have some variation depending on whether I want the conversation to continue further, or not.
If you don't have the elevator speech down and prepared in 10 different contexts, you miss life opportunities.
If you want the attention of Person X:
a) You want to be perceived as being desired or needed URGENTLY.
b) You want to be perceived as being UNIQUE, fascinating and/or exciting.
Most people say something incredibly dull like "I work for the government." "I work for 3M." "I work for the bank."
Worse, they'll say:
"I'm a maintenance engineer."
"I'm an office manager."
"I'm a coach."
"I'm a corporate consultant."
"I'm unable to tell you what I do for a living because it indicates I'm as boring as it appears on first glance and what I really do is pretty meaningless in the scope of life..."
How can you figure this out for yourself?
Speak out loud into a voice recorder what you do. Do it 20 ways. Listen back to see what grabs attention and causes or should cause someone to dig deeper.
Hitting the Bullseye...
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