When someone tries to communicate something to another in an effort to make things better, we’re going to call that an “emotional bid.”
The Emotional Bid.
I love the term and wish I would have coined the phrase. It means just about anything you do or say to attempt to connect with someone. Keep these in mind as you read on and realize how many opportunies you have to connect with your mate.
“How are you?”
“How are you feeling?”
“Want to watch CSI tonight?”
“Dinner was good.”
“Would you massage my back for a minute?”
Those are emotional bids and because relationships often go from fire and flame... to roomies...there could be benefits in putting some spice back into life!
Tips for Rebuilding a Healthy Relationship
1. Start Over
One of my favorite songs is John Lennon’s “Starting Over.” "It's been so long since we took the time. No one's to blame. My how time flies...so quickly." When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the other person does.
However, as time passes, the nagging starts. Instead of hearing, “You look beautiful,” they might hear “Why are you wearing that shirt?”
If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need to sit down and be honest that things have changed. Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place. Then together, make a commitment to start over. The truth is, both of you will have to work on this. It will not automatically be easy but it is possible.
Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some time so be patient.
2. Schedule Time
Time together is crucial. It’s the whole ball game. Recent research I’ve been delving into about rejection essentially shows that relationships split because time together dwindles down. Time is the commodity of a relationship. Nothing is more important.
This time can be with friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or cuddling together while watching a favorite movie. The activity is not what is important but the fact that you are together, doing something that you both enjoy. People have extremely busy schedules and between work, family, the home, errands, and everything else going on, finding time for your mate can be difficult.
Just as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling time with each other. Once the plan is in place, no backing out unless you have some life and death emergency.
I’ve always been big on scheduling things that matter with people that matter. I’ve never seen anything to change my mind.