The lady down the street. Shoot. She's good looking and attractive. And she's never done a dang thing. (Of course you've never been in a room with her for long...or if you have don't come running to me for protection!)
No, the opposite is the case.
Everyone was married to the psycho-bish or rectal empty part of a donut…and then they found their new person…and about 18 months later they realized that the new person is a psycho wacko too.
The deal is this: We, as humans, are all pretty nuts.
Get over it.
The grass is always greener elsewhere. Sunglasses make everything look better outside and you take them off and see your life inside…and it’s always the same…whatever that is.
Pretty soon you have war or “cold war.” (One is loud, one is quiet, neither is good.)
Let’s say there are four people in a “family.” (20 years ago a family was two adults and two kids. Today it’s a single parent with a divorced Dad visiting the Step Dad’s house…with a kid from marriage A, B and C.) Single parents for the first time have the majority of households in America.
That’s a cultural and economic disaster inches away from falling off the cliff.
Today I’m going to play devil’s advocate and pretend like a relationship you’re in might be worth saving, building, creating or designing.
Now, even if that’s crazy, I promise that you’ll get cool ideas that just might make life work.
Chain of Command
Back to the four people in a family…four people in a room…
One will become the leader.
One will resent the leader.
One will keep away from the leader and the resenter.
One will try and be an intercessor.
(Scary how that works huh?) Identify your position in the family and find ways to soften your stance. If you're the "leader", ask your partner's opinion more often before making decisions. Let them know that they are important and their opinions matter.
If you are the "supporter" in the relationship and have come to resent your partner's "bossiness", then find your voice and speak your opinion assertively.
Include your children in family activities. When there is a disagreement, keep it between the two individuals and learn effective conflict resolution skills so that no one needs to feel like a mediator.
What's a very special tool you can use to help rebuild your relationship?